Songs in the Key of E&O Minor
by toybembry
Summary: Elliot and Olivia are SVU partners who share a haunting secret from their past. Completed
1. Chapter 1

**Songs in the Key of E & O Minor**

Hello peeps! I'm trying my hand at another story, thanks to all who read Dangerously in Love and Bad Girl. Here's the set up: Elliot and Olivia went to high school together, go their separate ways, then meet back up several years later as partners in the SVU. Sounds farfetched, I know, but I figure if I can make up a story where Olivia is a serial killer, then this can't be that much worse. I also want each chapter to be inspired by certain song lyrics (hence the title Songs in the Key of E&O Minor that I ripped off of Alicia Keys and Stevie Wonder). I saw another author try this and I wanted to try my hand at it. I'm a big music buff and I LOVE songfics. Enough rambling! Read on.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Law & Order characters, just the ones I make up. Also, I have never been to Lewiston, NY, I just researched populations and it stuck out to me. If my "vision" of the town is off, I sincerely apologize. But that's why we call it fiction. Lyrics from "Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan

_We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
In the lonely light of morning  
In the wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I've held so dear._

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...  
_

_I looked at the blood seeping through my fingers. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I had done it, that we had done it. Just as planned. Just as we said we would._

"You have to go now," she whispered harshly, her voice betraying her fear. She pushed him roughly, as if her might was enough to propel him away from the field, away from the horrible act. Elliot stumbled, his right foot catching on a dead shrub.

"What are you going to do? You can't just stay here," he snapped back in his own whisper. It occurred to him that the whispering was most likely unnecessary. They were the only ones out in the night. The nearest occupied farmhouse was more than six miles away.

She hesitated, looking at the ground, at the prone figure who stared sightlessly back up at her. She shuddered visibly, wrapping her arms around her body tightly, trying desperately to find warmth that would never come. "I…feel like someone should call the police…I should call 911."

Elliot stared at her unbelieving. "Olivia, have you lost your mind? We have to stick to the plan!"

_Death has a smell. It's strong. They never talked about this in church. Did they know? Should I tell my priest? I wonder what he would say?_

She was white as a sheet. She looked up at the sky. No chance of her getting to heaven. Ever. "Maybe if I say that…I was taking a walk through the field…and I found him…"

Elliot shook his head hard. "No," he said firmly. "We leave. Now."

Olivia nodded her head, her thoughts clearing. She noticed the blood on Elliot, on his hands, face, clothes…Jerkily she looked down at her own body. Blood was everywhere.

"Oh my God…Oh my…" she cried.

Elliot grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. Startled, she fell silent.

"Listen to me," Elliot demanded, his voice again a whisper. "We'll go to jail…they'll kill us, give us the death penalty...our lives will be ruined…we're only seventeen."

_He felt a foreign sensation. Fear. Repulsion. Regret. He thought they were doing the right thing…did they mess up? Did they do something they couldn't undone? _

Olivia stared into his eyes. This boy who grew up down the street from her, three houses down. So different than her, only six months ago he didn't even like her. Never gave her the time of day. Yet here he was. Her savior. Her fellow sinner.

"Why Elliot?"

He knew what she was asking. "Because I had to."

_We are murderers. We took a man's life tonight._

With that thought, he turned and left the field, she following close behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The first chapter was like a prologue. From here on out, the stories will switch back and forth from Elliot and Olivia's childhood to present day.**

Lyrics from "Back Then" by Mike Jones

_Back then hoes didn't want me, _

_Now I'm hot, hoes all on me_

_I said,_

_Back then hoes didn't want me, _

_Now I'm hot, hoes all on me_

_Six months earlier…_

She just couldn't understand it. She leaned with her back against her locker, her face resembling a deer caught in headlights. She just couldn't understand it.

"So…what do you say? You live over on…Seneca street yeah? I'll pick you up at eight."

His arrogance annoyed her to no end. She gripped the strap of her backpack, finding her voice. "I'm sorry…I don't remember saying yes."

He smirked knowingly. "I already know your answer. Just make sure you wear something that shows off your nice rack."

Arrogant bastard. "I don't think so," Olivia said. "I've got plans."

He narrowed his eyes and leaned in closer. She was aware of her backpack painfully squeezing into her back. "Okay. I get it. You're one of those hard to get chicks. I'll play along for now."

He pushed off the locker treating her to another smirk. She watched as Glen Parker, captain of the swim team, sauntered down the hallway, catching the eye of every girl he passed. Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, turning around to open her locker. It had been like this ever since she got back to school. Popular boys that had paid her no mind the first three years of high school were popping out of the woodwork, wanting to take her out, wanting to be her boyfriend.

She rummaged in her locker for her books. What Olivia hadn't noticed, or wasn't yet willing to admit, was that the summer before her senior year had been a kind one. She had blossomed into a beautiful young woman, with soft curves, long luxurious hair and big brown eyes.

She slammed her locker door shut. Well Glen Parker could forget it, she thought angrily. So could all the other boys. They didn't think she was worth talking to before, why should she appease them now? All she wanted to do was graduate high school and get out of Lewiston.

She walked out of the school and into the crisp sunshine, heading to her little Volkswagon Bug in the parking lot. She loved that car, in all its lime green gloriousness. She had worked all of last year at the movie theater to save for her car, and she painstakingly took care of it. She jumped behind the wheel, tossing her backpack into the backseat. She pressed play on the cassette player, welcoming the sounds of "Wild Horses". She reached to put the key in the ignition when she was suddenly bucked forcefully into the steering wheel, the sound of crushing metal mixing with The Stones.

Catching her breath, she leaped out of the car. A red camaro had backed into her bumper and caused quite some damage. Her heart stopped when the driver stepped out of his vehicle.

"Damn," he whistled. "Sorry."

It was Elliot Stabler. Wrestling star extraordinaire, one of the most popular and sought after guys at Lewiston Porter High School. He was dating Mindy McCready, the captain of the varsity cheer squad. And he had just wrecked her car.

"That's all you can say?" she snapped incredulously. "I don't have a bumper anymore!"

He shut his car door and circled around the wreckage to stand next to her. He was 6' 2", all muscle and brawn, but he had a quiet intelligence about him that set him apart from his jock peers. "I'm sorry," he said again, adopting a more sympathetic tone. "I was busy with the radio and wasn't looking where I was backing up. My dad will pay for the damages."

"Anything good?"

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

"What you were listening to…anything good?"

"The Stones," he said with a smile. "Honky Tonk Women."

"Nice," she said appreciatively. "I'm a big fan of 'Wild Horses' myself."

"Again, I'm sorry. My dad's friend is a mechanic, we can get the car fixed for you. We can stop by later tonight to pick it up, is that okay?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah I live on-"

"I know where you live, you're down the street." She was beautiful, Elliot decided. And he could tell that she didn't realize it herself. He found that oddly refreshing.

Olivia smiled. "Right. Thanks."

She watched him get back into his car and ease out of the parking lot. It had occurred to her that he had lived down the street from her for years, yet that was the first time he had ever said a word to her.

**XXXXXXXXX**

Olivia opened the front door a crack to find Elliot standing on her porch, a sheepish look on his face. It was late Sunday afternoon, three days after he and his father had picked up her car for repairs.

"I'm sorry, I would have brought the car back sooner, but I had a meet that ran late last night," he said apologetically. He noticed she was only half listening, her attention focused on something behind her.

"It's okay, I really appreciate you fixing her," she said quickly, grabbing the keys. She opened her mouth to say something else, when the door was pulled open wider.

"Who the hell are you?" the woman asked belligerently. Elliot recognized her as Olivia's mother. He had heard quite a bit about the woman from his mother and her friends. Her eyes were bright red and swimming, the stench of alcohol assaulting Elliot's senses.

"Mom, this is Elliot…from down the street. He brought me back my car…"

She shook a finger out at him. "You need to be more careful when you are driving, you could have killed my daughter!" she shrieked, grabbing Olivia into an awkward embrace. "What would I do without my baby? What would I do?"

"Right…I'm sorry, it won't happen again." He desperately wanted to escape this bizarre woman. He noticed that Olivia was bright red and looking past him.

"Good," she slurred, pulling Olivia into the house. Olivia threw him a shameful look of apology before the door slammed in his face.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Nothing too interesting in this chapter, just making the re-introduction. It'll pick up the next chapter.

**Lyrics from "Dirty Little Secret" by All American Rejects**

_The way she feels inside (inside)  
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)  
These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie)  
And all I've tried to hide  
It's eating me apart  
Trace this line back_

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret  
Dirty little secret  
Dirty little secret  


_Who has to know?_

_She's even more beautiful than I remember._

Funny thought for someone whose life had just come crashing down around him.

"Elliot?"

Elliot blinked and looked at his boss. Captain Don Cragen was looking at him quizzically. "The normal response to 'Meet your new partner' is 'Hi, nice to meet you.'"

Elliot looked at her again. _15 years. 15 long years. What was she doing here?_

Olivia stared back at him, her eyes betraying her calm demeanor. She looked ready to scream.

_Would she say anything? She can't. Neither of us can. _

"I'm sorry…I was expecting someone older…like my last partner…" Elliot extended his hand. "It is very nice to meet you Detective Benson."

She took his hand gingerly. The years had aged it, but it still felt shockingly familiar. Her memory was assaulted with all those hands were capable of. "You as well, Detective Stabler."

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So where were you before you got this beat?" Detective John Munch asked. He was throwing paper airplanes at his partner, Monique Jeffries, who was doing her best to ignore him.

"Uh, Manhattan South homicide," Olivia replied. She couldn't keep her eyes off of Elliot, who was doing a magnificent job of ignoring her, keeping his head buried into some paperwork.

What were the chances? She hadn't seen the guy in 15 years and here they were, co-workers and new partners. It was karma at its splendid best.

And they both had grown up and become police officers. Both sworn to uphold the law and protect the public from evil and things that go bump in the night. The irony of it did not escape her, as the secret they shared burned deep in the pit of her stomach. Did he remember? How could he forget? What had he done the past 15 years to make amends?

"How were you unlucky enough to get this beat?" Jeffries asked, throwing Munch a death stare as one of his airplanes bounced of her tight curls. "Cut it out, idiot."

"As you can see you are going to be surrounded by pure genius in here Olivia," Brian Cassidy answered, laughing at Munch and Jeffries. He threw her a brilliant smile, captivated by the new detective's beauty.

"…I volunteered actually."

That got everyone's attention, even Elliot, who finally looked up from his desk. "You volunteered?" Cassidy asked in surprise. "No one volunteers for sex crimes." The remaining detectives stared at her, waiting for an answer.

Olivia shifted uncomfortably, throwing a look at Elliot. _We didn't share all of our secrets._ "I'm a child of rape."

Cassidy whistled and Jeffries looked down, unsure of what to say. Elliot stared at Olivia in disbelief. _She's lying. I would have known something like that…she would have told me. We shared everything. _

"Your mother was raped and she had you?" he asked, unable to keep the skepticism out of his voice. Munch threw him a sharp look.

Olivia, reading his thoughts, looked at him steadily in the eyes. The same way she did when they were teenagers. The same way she did that fateful day in the abandoned shack when their world turned upside down. "Yes, exactly," she said evenly. _We didn't share all of our secrets Elliot. _

"Well, welcome to the unit," Jeffries said, finding her voice. She reached over and gave Olivia's shoulder a squeeze. "It'll be nice to have another woman around."

Olivia smiled. She looked at Elliot who was staring at her with a faraway look.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **So, this chapter is inspired by one of my fav scenes in the movie Clueless. Also, after some quick calculation, I had put Liv and El's age at about 33 when they meet back up in 1999 (when I think the show started), which would make them high school seniors in 1983, give or take. Feel free to make fun of me for thinking waaaay too hard about this.

The lyrics are from an Avril song that I just discovered even though I've owned the damn CD for two years now. But whatever. Enjoy.

**Lyrics from "Don't Tell Me" by Avril Lavigne **

_**  
**Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?  
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry?  
Don't try to tell me what to do,  
Dont try to tell me what to say,  
You're better off that way_

Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck  
Will get you in my pants I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget  
I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset  
Get out of my head get off of my bed yeah thats what I said  
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl, the one who, throws it all away  


Olivia sighed and looked out the car window. She desperately tried to remember why she had to agree to go on this date.

"…and he came in three-hundreths of a second after me, but it doesn't matter because I still smoked his ass…"

Olivia groaned inwardly and rolled her eyes. For the past half hour she had been listening to Glen Parker brag about every glorious race he had ever swam in and vent about every race he had ever lost. She wasn't sure how much she had contributed to the conversation, but she couldn't remember the last time she had actually spoken aloud and that was not a good sign.

She sighed again as he rambled on, steering the car easily through the light traffic of Lewiston. They were heading to some party of a friend of a friend of his or something like that. Olivia tried again to remember why she had said yes. It wasn't like her to give in and do what others wanted her to do for the sake of belonging. She had always been a loner, from a very early age, keeping to herself and preferring it that way. Or so she told herself.

Her attention was brought back into focus as the car rolled to a stop. They were out by the industrial part of town, where many of the town's trade originated. It was also a notorious make out spot with its many abandoned warehouses and lots for those who didn't want to brave the fields or woods.

She turned to him confused. "Where…where is the party?"

He treated her to a shit-eating grin. "You look soooo bodacious tonight," he drawled in what he hoped was a seductive tone.

Olivia smiled thinly. "Thanks, you look sooooo bodacious too," she mocked, her voice dripping sarcasm.

"That blue sweater looks great on your ta-tas," he went on, ignoring her as usual. "But I'm thinking it would look better off."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "You can't be serious."

Glen smiled, looping an arm around the back of her headrest. "I understand baby, you can drop the act. I know you're into me. Who can blame you?"

"What is my last name Glen?"

To his credit Olivia admitted, he actually thought about it. "…Beaman?"

Olivia stared at him as if she were trying to teach a dense child. "Exactly," she cooed. "I thought we were going to the party? Don't you want all your friends to fawn, I mean, see you?"

"Later," he whispered leaning in for a kiss. He reached out and squeezed her right breast before making contact with her lips, which awarded him with a sound smack to the left side of his face. Startled, he slammed back into the car door, grabbing his throbbing cheek.

"What the hell was that for!" he exclaimed, smarting.

Olivia calmly straightened her shirt. "We are so not going there. You need to take me home. Like, now."

"Don't have a freaking cow about it, what is your mom a nun or something? It's just a kiss…" He leaned in for another attempt, sparking Olivia's fury. She roughly pushed him away and wrenched the car door open. Stepping out into the cool night, she straightened her skirt and marched off, fuming. Glen put the car in a slow crawl and followed her.

"Wait…what the hell are you doing? Get back in the car," he yelled, his head sticking out the window.

"Go away," Olivia yelled, her stride still purposeful.

"What, are you gonna walk home?" he griped. "You chicks are not worth all this trouble."

Olivia rolled her eyes and threw him a look over her shoulder. "Then I suggest you find some skank to hang out with. Go away and leave me alone."

"Fine!" He put the car in gear and peeled off, leaving Olivia in a cloud of dust on an empty and dimly lit street.

XXXXXXXX

"Ouch," she giggled playfully, striking her head on the roof of the car. "We have to hurry Elliot."

"I know, I know," he said good-naturedly, struggling to buckle his belt. He and Mindy were in the space-challenged back seat of his Camaro, trying to pull on their clothes and get Mindy home before her parents blew a gasket. The two climbed out of the back seat and settled comfortably in the front seats, Elliot laying rubber out of the abandoned lot. Mindy snuggled close to him as he casually laid an arm around her shoulders.

"Do you always drive this fast?" she giggled again, giving his leg a squeeze

Elliot smiled thinly. _Did she have to giggle at everything? _"Only when I'm trying to get a certain choice babe home before her daddy calls the cops."

Mindy giggled, "Silly, your dad is the cops. What would he do if he caught us?"

Elliot's dad was indeed on the force. "Skin me alive for taking a Catholic girl's virginity," he mused.

Mindy laughed heartily now. "Yes, but I'm not a virgin."

Elliot stopped. "That's right," he agreed, forgetting that little tid bit. Mindy had made her way through the jocks in the school, it was only a matter of time before she set her sights on the captain of the wrestling team. Aside from the irritating ditziness, which he was almost sure was an act, Mindy was blonde, hot, wild and willing which was fine by him.

He squinted his eyes at the road ahead, spotting a figure. He firmly pushed on the breaks and pulled up beside Olivia Benson, who was walking briskly. Rolling down the passenger side window, Elliot leaned over Mindy and called Olivia's name. She was in her own zone and it took a moment for her to register that someone was talking to her. She slowed when she noticed Elliot.

"What are you doing out here by yourself? Did your car break down?" he asked concerned. He noticed her cheeks were flushed, whether by physical exertion or anger he couldn't tell.

Mindy rolled her eyes, not amused. "What do you think she's doing out here?" she whispered, not so quietly. "What's wrong Olivia? Your date didn't end up so great?" she asked sweetly, in a louder voice.

Olivia stared at Mindy. She was so not in the mood. "Yeah, he forgot to buy me flowers. I had to let the dickhead go," she snapped.

Elliot ignored them both, stepping out of the car. "Get in, we'll take you home."

Olivia hesitated, which Elliot noticed. "Come on, you live right next to me. We'll drop Mindy off first then head back."

She heard Mindy make a rude noise, which sealed her decision. Circling around the car, she brushed past Elliot before climbing in to the backseat.

The ride was uncomfortably silent, so Elliot felt compelled to break the silence. "So…Depeche Mode are playing in Niagara, do you like them?"

Olivia sat up. "'Like', is so not the word, I'm leaning more towards 'obsessed.'"

"Do you have tickets to the show?"

"No," Olivia breathed in sadness. "I would kill somebody or maim a small animal to get a ticket."

Elliot laughed. "How about you just take my extra one? No killing or maiming required."

"Really?" Olivia and Mindy asked in unison. Mindy was the first to recover. "Are you serious, you can't take her to a concert."

Elliot glanced at Mindy confused. "But…you said you wouldn't be caught dead at a Depeche Mode concert, you're all about Pat Benatar…I have an extra ticket if you don't go."

Mindy huffed as if she were talking to a moron. "Um hel-looo, that means you like, take one of your buddies, not some random joely."

"Um, I believe the term is 'joanie'" Olivia piped up from the backseat.

Mindy laughed incredulously, throwing Elliot a "See this?" look. "Yeah, I think I know my slang when it comes to boring girls."

Olivia mimicked her laugh. "Yeah, well I know _Happy Days, _and the slang term is inspired by Joanie Cunningham."

Mindy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Elliot stifled a laugh and threw Olivia a smile in the mirror.

The rest of the ride was uneventful, Mindy jumping out of the car before it rolled to a complete stop. Elliot watched her stomp impetuously to the front door.

"I need to go say goodbye," he said by way of explanation, unbuckling his seat belt. "You gonna be alright here?"

Olivia gave her consent and watched through the window as Elliot caught up to Mindy. After a bit of prodding, she threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately. Olivia felt a twinge in the bottom of the stomach. She thought it might be nice to have a boyfriend of her own to kiss, but that was out of the question.

Elliot hopped back in the car and headed towards their street. "So…don't worry about Mindy, she'll come around," he said fumbling.

Olivia smiled. "It's okay, I don't want to be the cause of any marital discord." Elliot smiled himself. He liked her attitude and sense of humor, she was so different from the other girls he usually hung around.

"So, why were you out there walking by yourself?" He had been dying to ask her the question again. Contrary to Mindy's beliefs, Olivia didn't strike him as being very easy.

"I was on a date with Glen Parker and he got a little too fresh for my tastes. So I slapped him and jumped out of the car."

Elliot glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure she was serious and hooted with laughter. "Damn, poor Glen," he said chuckling, "he doesn't take rejection very well."

Olivia shrugged. "Might as well learn now."

Elliot pulled the car up to Olivia's house. The memory of the last time he was there peaked, but he pushed it away. A quick glance at Olivia told him she remembered too.

"Listen, about my Mom…she tends to overreact on things…"

"It's okay, I understand," he said lightly. He stepped out of the car and flipped up the driver's seat to let her out. They bumped into each other briefly as she stood up, both connecting eyes for a nanosecond longer than could be deemed innocent.

"Thanks for the ride," she said softly.

"Anytime." He watched as she walked up the steps. "Olivia?"

She turned. "Yes?"

"The concert is tomorrow night. Pick you up at six?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: I don't any of these characters. Just thought I'd throw that in, it's been awhile.

**Lyrics from "Nothing Broken But My Heart" by Celine Dion**

_I've been over you for some time now baby  
I don't miss your kiss like before now anymore now  
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'm fine  
All I needed was a little time  
So if you still think that I still need you Baby  
I really don't know why  
Oh baby, since you left me  
You might think that my world's been torn apart  
But if you see me  
Baby you'll see that  
Nothing's broken, nothing broken but my heart _

You won't find no tears in my eyes now baby  
If you think I'm sad that you're gone now  
Then you're wrong now  
If you ask I'll say I'm happy I'm free  
Tell you that's the way I wanna be  
And all those nights we shared together baby  
We'll they don't mean a thing

"You need to transfer."

Olivia's hand stopped on the car door. "Excuse me?" They were outside of the GMDC on Rikers Island. They were about to interview an inmate by the name of Victor Spicer who, coincidentally, shared the same name as their vic.

Elliot sighed irritably. He just could not believe he was sitting in a NYPD-issue sedan with the woman he had fallen in love with fifteen years ago. The same woman who had thrown that love away and abandoned him at a crucial part of his life. That first year after she left was torture, but he had moved on. He thought about her over the years, where she was, what she was doing, did she ever think about him, was she even alive? And now, here she was sitting next to him in a squad car, looking radiant and unaffected by it all.

"You need to transfer," he repeated, finally looking at her. "We can't be in the same unit, let alone work together. Since I was here first, you go, I stay."

Olivia struggled to come up with a defense. "I volunteered to be here…I can't very well ask for a transfer in my first week."

"Then transfer to another SVU unit somewhere else, just not here."

Olivia felt herself redden. "I belong here just as much as you do," she said through clenched teeth. "I'm a good cop Elliot."

"No you don't, and this has nothing to do with being a good cop," Elliot said, finally losing the tenuous grip he had on his temper. "I don't want you here. I don't want you as my partner. And as much as you are trying to act like nothing matters, we have history and it isn't good. We don't need extra attention, we don't need people digging into our past… I have too much too lose."

Olivia's eyes flitted to the ring on his left hand as it tightly clenched the steering wheel. She had been staring at it all week. "How long?"

"13 years," he said, his voice barely audible. "We have four children."

Olivia was taken aback. It hadn't taken him very long to get over her. Not that she blamed him. Still, it hurt. "Wow…who's the lucky lady?"

"Her name is Kathy," he said shortly.

Olivia nodded as she gazed at the imposing prison. "I thought about you…many times…wondered if you were safe…if your father-"

"Well, I didn't think about you," he snapped, lying. "Once you left, I rid myself of every thought and every memory. Now you want to come back and act like everything is fine? I don't think so."

Olivia suspected he was lying but the words still cut through her like a knife. While she had no doubt that he thought of her, how favorable those thoughts were the question. "I loved you Elliot," she said in a wobbly voice, "I had to do what I had to do to protect us, to protect you."

As far as Elliot was concerned the conversation was over. "Spicer is waiting," he said before climbing out of the car. Olivia had no choice but to follow suit. Arriving inside at the visitor's desk, they showed their credentials to the clerk on duty.

"Olivia?"

Her head snapped up. "Yes?"

Elliot's attention was focused on pinning his visitor's ID to his lapel. "I want you the hell out of the unit by the end of the week."

XXXXXXX

"Wow, Elliot," Kathy said incredulously, her hands on her hips. "That went even worse than I thought it would."

Elliot watched as his oldest daughter Maureen ran up the stairs in a cold fury. Her parents had found out that she was going to school and switching in to much more provocative clothing, clothes that Elliot and Kathy would never permit her to wear on any given day. Kathy thought a compromise was in order but Elliot was having none of it.

Elliot held up a shirt that caused even him to blush. Kathy winced, admitting to herself that the shirt really was awful. "Do you see this? I see hookers on the street with more coverage than this."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to be so hard on her…don't you think a month without privileges is a little harsh?"

Kathy's lenient parenting skills irked him. "Kathy, if we don't punish her now, she's going to think she can get away with looking like Lil' Kim and that is not acceptable under any circumstances," he said, tossing the offending material on the coffee table and plopping on the couch.

"I guess it was Maureen's bad luck that she got caught during your black period," she mumbled underneath her breath.

Elliot furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about? Come sit down."

Kathy crossed her arms, continuing to stand. "This…bad mood you've been in for the past week, you've been on a rampage and I'm sick of it and I'm sure the kids are too," she said slowly. "Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"

"Nothing."

And that's how their arguments always went. Kathy understood that his job was stressful and he was faced with the dark side of the human behavior on a daily basis. She appreciated his attempts to shield them from that life, but she couldn't help thinking it was a lose-lose situation.

She sat down beside him and took his hand. "Is it your new partner?" she asked.

"No, why would you think that?" he asked shortly.

"Because you never talk about her. Is she that bad?"

Elliot rubbed the side of his face. Kathy could see the fire in his eyes and was momentarily taken aback. What the hell did this woman do to garner such hatred from her husband?

"We don't mesh well."

Kathy could tell that was all she was going to get out of him for the moment so she let the matter drop. For now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, here is the reeeeaaaaaaally funny thing about the lyrics in this chapter. I've never heard the song before. As a matter of fact, I'm not a fan of Depeche Mode at ALL. But it just didn't make sense not to have DM lyrics when E & O are at one of their concerts! Oy. So I had to Google DM lyrics and these stuck out to me. So forgive me if this song sucks. **

**Lyrics from "See You" by Depeche Mode**

_All i want to do is see you again  
Is that too much to ask for?  
I just want to see your sweet smile  
Smiled the way it was before_

_Well i'll try not to hold you  
And i'll try not to kiss you  
And i won't even touch you_

_All i want to do is see you  
Don't you know that it's true_

_I remember the days when we'd walk through the woods  
And sit on a bench for a while  
_I_ treasure the way we used to laugh and play  
And look in each others eyes_

_You can keep me at a distance if you don't trust my resistance  
But i swear i won't touch you_

_All i want to do is see you  
Don't you know that it's true_

_Well i know five years is a long time  
And that times change (oh that times change)  
But i think that you will find  
People are basically the same (basically the same)_

_If the water's still flowing, we can go for a swim  
And do the things we used to do  
And if i'm reluctant you can pull me in  
And we can relive our youth_

_Oh but we'll stay friendly like sister and brother  
Though i think i still love you  
All i want to do is see you  
Don't you know that it's true?_

Elliot searched around for Olivia in the crowded hall. His hands were full of popcorn, Twizzlers, peanuts and soda and he was fighting desperately not to drop the load as frantic and exuberated Depeche Mode fans jostled him at every turn.

"Hey, Elliot!"

Elliot turned at the shout and saw Olivia approaching him. She was wearing a tight fitting, bright orange sweater and black leggings. He had to admit she looked hot.

"Do you know I had to walk a freaking mile to find a bathroom?" she said, annoyance filling her voice as she approached Elliot. She surveyed the goods. "What, we feeding a small army?"

"I didn't know what you wanted so I just about got everything," he said sheepishly. He looked around to see if anyone other guy noticed the bodacious babe that was his date for the night.

"No matter, lets go get our seats before some rabid 12-year olds decide to steal them."

Settling in to their seats, they ignored the opening band, waiting for the real show to start. They munched the goodies in silence until Olivia's curiosity got the better of her.

"So Mindy okay with you being here tonight?" Olivia asked, nonchalantly. She noticed he looked rather handsome in his Varsity jacket.

Elliot shrugged as he slurped Coke from his straw. "I guess, I haven't really talked to her since last night. She'll probably freeze me out for a couple of days, teach me a lesson."

"How long have you two been together?" Olivia didn't really want to talk about the bimbette but she felt compelled to learn as much as she could about Elliot Stabler. His likes. His dislikes. The women he fell for. Not that that was of any importance she told herself quickly.

"A couple of months I guess."

"She's really pretty."

Elliot wrinkled his forehead. "You know what, she's actually kind of an airhead."

Olivia looked up to the ceiling, munching on a Twizzler. "I didn't think that mattered," she deadpanned.

Against his will, Elliot fund himself laughing. "I guess not, no," he said, face reddening. "I'm a guy, what can I say? I buy her dinner, take her to the movies…I call her."

"That's the spirit," Olivia quipped.

"So what about you?" Elliot turned to face her. As far as he was concerned, Olivia Benson was a mystery. What lied behind that cool façade? "You went out with Parker…is that the kind of guy you normally hook up with?"

"Oh yeah…arrogant, vain, self-absorbed and enough hair gel to grease a moose…he's a stud. Man of my dreams."

"Yet…you still went out with him."

"Well, you weren't available." Olivia eyes widened as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth. She prided herself on her quick wit, but sometimes it was her downfall. Her mother hated that about her. Just hated it.

Elliot smiled slowly. He opened his mouth to reply when the house lights dimmed. Olivia instantly forgot her faux pas and immediately stood up to see the band. Elliot had scored great seats of which Olivia was grateful.

It wasn't long before Elliot and Olivia were lost in the music, both swaying to sounds and mouthing the words. At one point Elliot broke out of his reverie and glanced at Olivia and was captivated by what he saw. She had one arm thrown across the top of her head, eyes closed as she did her own hypnotic dance along to the music. He watched as she mouthed the words to the song:

_"Well I'll try not to hold you  
And I'll try not to kiss you  
And I won't even touch you_

_All I want to do is see you  
Don't you know that it's true"_

He was transfixed and had to wrench his attention back to the band. After awhile, he reached out and snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her to him until their bodies were flush, matching his moves to hers until they were dancing in sync.

After the concert, Olivia and Elliot followed the throng of fans out into the cool night air. Olivia was on a high, dancing clumsily around and singing at the top of her lungs.

"What good is a photograph of you? Every time I look at it, it makes me feel blue," she warbled off key. "The meaning of love, tell me the meaning of love!"

Elliot busted out laughing. "You do realize that's two different songs, right?" She smiled impishly and continued her rendition.

"That was awesome," she said breathlessly, when they reached the car. "I'm totally stoked."

"Good," he said, smiling widely. He reached to unlock her door, but her hand encircled his wrist, staying the action. She stood on her tip-toes and gave him a soft, chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Thank you, Elliot," she said sincerely, before climbing into the car. He couldn't help thinking that little kiss was more sexy and beautiful than anything he had ever experienced with Mindy.

They drove back to Lewiston in silence, Olivia sleeping off the charge of the evening. He stayed lost in his own thoughts, occasionally glancing at the sleeping form. By the time he pulled up to her house, he knew he wanted to spend more time with her.

"I'm a sleepy head," she chided herself after Elliot nudged her awake. Something caught her attention and Elliot saw that she was focused on a blue Chevy truck parked askew of the driveway.

"I'll walk you to your door, " he said, unbuckling his seat belt.

"No!" she said forcefully. Elliot looked up in alarm. "You…I'll be all right," she said weakly. "You go on home. I know you have a meet tomorrow afternoon."

"Olivia…is everything all right? Is someone in your house that you don't want to be there?" he asked, concern coloring his eyes.

"No," she said quickly, with a look he caught. He recognized it as realization dawned. He himself sometimes bore it. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"Try me."

Olivia shook her head sadly, still furtively looking at the front door. "You wouldn't understand…"

Elliot smiled sadly. "You'd be surprised," he answered quietly.

"I'll see you later," she said, reaching out and giving his shoulder a squeeze. Olivia rushed out of the car when his rich baritone stopped her.

"_All i want to do is see you again  
Is that too much to ask for?  
I just want to see your sweet smile  
Smiled the way it was before"_

Olivia turned around, tears shining in her eyes. "Wow…you have a nice voice," she managed.

"Do you want…do you want to get out of here? You don't have to go home if you don't want to."

She gave him her own sad smile. "Yes, yes I do." And with that, she turned and walked inside the house.

XXXXXXXXXXXX_  
_


	7. Chapter 7

Lyrics from "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera 

_After all of the fights and the lies  
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore  
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over  
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture  
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down  
So I wanna say thank you_

'Cause it makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
It makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter  
Made me learn a little bit faster   
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter   
So thanks for making me a fighter

"Olivia can you come into my office for a minute?" Cragen asked, poking his head out of his office and beckoning her.

Olivia looked around for a sign from her fellow detectives, but no one looked the wiser. She pushed herself away from the desk and headed into the captain's office.

"Close the door," he said, standing behind his desk. Olivia looked at him quizzically, and did as she was told.

"Elliot has some concerns about your job performance Olivia," Cragen said, getting right to the point.

Olivia stilled. She was shocked but knew she shouldn't be. To put it frankly, she had been dealing with Elliot's bullshit for the past month. She had refused to heed his demand that she leave unit, instead hoping he was just blowing off steam. Instead it got her constant verbal abuse and disrespect from her partner, oftentimes in front of their co-workers.

"What exactly?" she asked in a neutral tone.

Cragen shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, he said that you are too 'emotionally involved' with the cases, particularly the Spicer one."

Olivia's eyes widened. "Sir, I'm just as passionate about my other cases…I don't think I understand where this is coming from."

"Well," he drawled, "He said that you bullied a rape victim into giving you information, and you cried after seeing one who had been maimed. As a matter of fact, he says you've cried and lost your cool on many occasions."

Olivia went cold with fury. Yes, she did lose her composure after visiting a rape victim who had been blinded by her attack. That one she'll admit to. But on many occasions? Lost her cool? Bullied a suspect? Bullshit.

"Bullshit," she said, echoing her thoughts. "Captain, I'll admit…I did lose it once after seeing a blind victim…but the rest of this? Tell me when and where! What the hell is he talking about?"

Cragen shuffled some papers on his desk and pulled out a one sheet. Handing it to her, Olivia scanned its contents. Elliot had documented and dated each of her outbursts and included it in a tidy little report for their captain. The words on the page started to blur as her fury overtake her.

"What are you trying to tell me Don?" Olivia snapped.

"Do you dispute this?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, Don. Yes I 'dispute' this," she said, mocking his tone with clenched teeth. "Elliot Stabler has a problem with me and he has gone to lengths to get rid of me. This is bullshit and baseless and I won't stand for it. If you try to remove me from this squad, I will have my PBA lawyer down here so fast, your be on your ass." Olivia sputtered to a stop as she realized she had crossed the line. To her surprise, Cragen just nodded.

"Work this out with your partner," was all he said.

Nodding tightly, Olivia flew out of the office. Spotting Elliot leaning against his desk and talking to Munch, Jeffries and Cassidy, she marched over to him. Spotting her approach, the detectives fell silent.

Olivia walked up to Elliot and gave him a brilliant smile. Then she ripped the report up into tiny pieces, grabbed Munch's coffee cup and swished the paper around in the cup until it was a mushy mess. Then she turned around and dumped the coffee and paper onto Elliot's desk, causing him to pitch forward to avoid getting splattered.

"There's your transfer asshole," she said sweetly. Grabbing her coat, she headed to the roof, leaving the four detectives gaping at her retreating form.

XXXXXXXXX

Olivia grabbed the side of the wall and looked out over the side. She was seething, fighting hard to control her breathing _That bastard. _She couldn't believe that he would go to such lengths to get his way. Apparently he had changed over the years, into a vindictive, sneaky individual. Well, she hadn't she thought fiercely. She was more of a fighter now than ever.

"I told you to leave."

Olivia turned see Elliot standing behind her on the roof. He put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "You weren't cooperating so I had to give you a bit of a push."

"I'm not leaving Elliot," she said firmly. "If you don't think you can get past our history…your feeling towards me, then you need to leave. But no one, and I mean no one, forces me to do anything I don't want to do. Not anymore."

Elliot moved closer to her until they were face to face. He looked at her with his penetrating stare, trying to read her, gauge her intentions. What he got back was a steady, determined look of a woman who was not willing to backing down, not even to him.

"We can never…ever…make references to our pasts to anyone…not even the harmless stuff," he said quietly.

"I know."

"Someone might put two and two together and realize that we know each other, and even that is too much of a risk," he went on, as though he hadn't heard her. "We have to pretend that this is the first time we ever met."

"I got it," she said irritably. "Elliot I have just as much to fear as you do."

Elliot shook his head ruefully. "No, you don't. But you keep thinking that." He turned and left her on the roof.

XXXXXXX


	8. Chapter 8

**Hands Clean**

**Alanis Morissette **

_If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened  
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself  
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and  
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much_

_Ooh this could be messy  
But you don't seem to mind  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
And overlook this supposed crime_

_We'll fast forward to a few years later  
And no one knows except the both of us  
And I have honored your request for silence  
And you've washed your hands clean of this_

_You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me  
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me  
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian  
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it_

_Ooh this could get messy  
But you don't seem to mind  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
And overlook this supposed crime_

_We'll fast forward to a few years later  
And no one knows except the both of us  
And I have honored your request for silence  
And you've washed your hands clean of this_

_what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?  
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?  
what with this distance it seems so obvious?_

_Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family  
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse  
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly  
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body_

_Ooh this could be messy and  
Ooh I don't seem to mind  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
And overlook this supposed crime_

Olivia slipped through the front door and quietly shut it behind her. Not wanting to wake up her mother and Byron, she tiptoed as quietly as possible up the stairs and headed to her room.

Pushing open her bedroom door, she breathed a sigh of relief as she successfully avoided any confrontations that were destined to ruin her perfect night. She flipped on her light switch and let out a startled scream.

"Where were you?"

Byron "The Beast" as Olivia affectionately referred to him, was sitting on the edge of her bed, tightly coiled and ready to pounce.

"Byron," Olivia gasped, "I didn't see you there…"

He stood up to his full height. He was a bear of a man with solid, powerful arms, hence Olivia's nickname for him, and at 6' 4" he towered over her. Olivia consciously tried to keep her trembling at bay. Olivia wildly wondered where her mother was.

"Where's…where's my Mom?"

"Where were you?" he asked again, the picture of patience.

"At a concert."

"With who?"

Shit. Olivia eased around him and set her bag down on the dresser. "Is my Mom at Mulligan's?" she asked. She didn't want to risk lying so she thought distracting him would do the trick.

"I'm really getting tired of repeating myself, Olivia," Byron replied, still calm. "Who did you go to the concert with?"

"A friend…his name is Glen. You don't know him-"

Her explanation was cut short by a slam to her face that sent her reeling back against the dresser. Grabbing her cheek, she looked at him stunned.

"Wrong!" he exploded. He picked up a stray shoe that was littering her floor and chucked it at her vanity mirror. The crashing glass made Olivia cower in fright. "You were with Elliot. I saw you. I _saw you_ Olivia! With Elliot!"

He marched over to her and grabbed her shoulders giving her two sharp shakes. Olivia was crying freely now, terrified of what he was capable of.

"What did you do? Did you fuck him? Are you fucking him?" he asked cruelly, shouting. He shook her again, but she just cried harder. She wanted to tell him no, she would never do it, but the words wouldn't come.

He didn't wait either way. He threw her on the bed and tore at her clothes. Olivia turned her head to the side and stilled her body. He got off on pain and she was damned if she was going to give him that satisfaction.

He thrust himself into her roughly. Her attempt must have worked because he struggled inside of her, the frustration on his handsome face evident. Disgusted, he climbed off of her and buckled his pants. Pissed, he grabbed her left arm and gave it a sharp twist causing Olivia to gasp in pain, before stalking out of the room and slamming the door.

Olivia curled herself tightly into a ball and cried her heart out.

XXXXXXX

Olivia looked at the clock. It was 9 in the morning. She should get up. She thought if she stayed in bed long enough, the day would disappear into the next, and maybe that day would disappear to its next.

"Olivia!"

No such luck. She stumbled out of bed at the sound of her mother's voice. She threw open the door and headed towards the bathroom. A sharp pain shot up Olivia's arm, which caused her to stop abruptly with a gasp. She had forgotten about Byron's parting twist last night. She grabbed her upper and massaged it gently, carefully continuing her journey.

One look in the mirror caused another gasp to escape Olivia's lips. The entire right side of her face was swollen an angry red color.

"At least it's not purple," she mumbled to herself wryly. She washed up and headed downstairs. Her mom wasn't in plain view in the living room, so she walked into the kitchen. Byron was sitting at the table, sipping orange juice and reading the newspaper.

"Olivia…how are you this morning?" he asked sheepishly, looking up from his reading.

Olivia stared at him. What was he still doing here? What about his family? "Fine…" she said cautiously.

He looked past her to see if her mother was in sight. Satisfied, he motioned for her to follow him into the garage. Obediently, she followed. Once inside, Olivia saw a huge bouquet of flowers sitting on the hood of her car.

"These for me?" she asked dully, staring at the lush display.

"Yeah…I'm sorry Olivia, you know how I can get," he said apologetically. "I would have put them in your room this morning, but I couldn't get past Serena."

Olivia stared at him. It was a cycle really. The dance they did. He would go into a rage, sometimes force himself on her, or just beat her, then turn around and apologize to her. Buy her something. Beg her forgiveness, which she always gave him. She always wondered what would happen if she refused these peace offerings. The thought made her shiver visibly.

"Are you cold?" he asked concerned.

"No. Why are you still here? What are you going to tell your wife?"

"Don't worry about that," he said gruffly, massaging the stubble on his chin. He really was a handsome man, Olivia thought, which is exactly what got her into this nightmare to begin with. "Listen…we have to talk about Elliot…"

"Nothing happened," Olivia said, cutting him off. "He had a free ticket to the Depeche Mode concert, and since he knew I liked them, he offered it to me."

Byron studied her thoughtfully. "I wasn't aware that the two of you ever…spoke to each other."

"The car accident…remember?"

"Right…right," he replied, nodding his head. "You realize…I am going to have to forbid you to speak to him. Never again."

Olivia felt a sharp stab to her heart, but she nodded. "I know," she said in a small voice.

Byron reached out and lovingly stroked the side of her face where his hand had angrily punched her just the night before. "I can't…share you with him…you know that," he said softly. "You stay away from him."

Olivia swallowed. "Nothing was going to happen," she said pleadingly, "If anything he is just a friend. Nothing would ever come of it."

His hand stopped. "No," he said firmly. "No, Olivia. It's too much of a risk."

He saw her crestfallen face and felt the rage starting build. _How dare she? And all the boys in Lewiston, why Elliot? She was rebelling on purpose._ He quickly tamped down on his anger.

"You know I love you Olivia, how can you possibly think I would share you with someone else?" he asked, struggling to keep his temper at bay.

Olivia looked at him and grabbed the fleeting spark of bravery that ran through her before it slipped away. "How long are we going to keep this up? How long until my mom finds out? Before your family finds out?"

He looked surprised by her question. "Well…forever Olivia," he said, his voice still gentle. "And she won't find out. She's never here anyway, she's always at that damn bar. And don't act like this is my fault. It's not my fault. It's yours. You should have never tempted me. How was I supposed to resist you? Do you think you can get on in this world without me? Without me you are nothing." His eyes pleaded with her. "I'm only trying to take care of you…your mom is not going to do it. Someone has to."

"It doesn't even have to be me…your wife could find out about mom…"

"Shhhh…" he said, discouraging her protests. "My wife does not question what I do. And neither should you."

Olivia blinked the tears from her eyes. Byron bent down and kissed her on each of her eyelids. "I have to go…don't let your mother see the flowers." He walked back into the house. Olivia stayed into the garage until she was sure he had said goodbye to her mom and had left the house. Sure enough, she re-entered at the same time the front door slammed shut.

She walked to the front window and watched him climb into his truck. She made the decision at that moment that it was time to tell her mother that her boyfriend and Olivia's own boyfriend, were one in the same.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Woo-hoo, I love reviews. Thanks so much you guys for your great words of encouragement. You guys are all so funny. And I just love svu101's simple, yet clear "Update. Now." Lol, it kills me every time.**

_**Lyrics from "Only Happy When it Rains" by Garbage**_

_I'm only happy when it rains  
I'm only happy when it's complicated  
And though I know you can't appreciate it  
I'm only happy when it rains_

You know I love it when the news is bad  
And why it feels so good to feel so sad  
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me  
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me  


_I'm only happy when it rains  
I feel good when things are going wrong  
I only listen to the sad, sad songs  
I'm only happy when it rains_

I only smile in the dark  
My only comfort is the night gone black  
I didn't accidentally tell you that  
I'm only happy when it rains

You'll get the message by the time I'm through  
When I complain about me and you  
I'm only happy when it rains  


Munch booted up his personal computer and waited for the screen to load. It was 2 in the morning and he knew he should have his butt in bed. He listened to the sounds of the city outside of his apartment as he logged onto AOL.

Something was bothering him and as usual, when things bothered him, he had to get to the bottom of it. It had to do with a statement Elliot had made earlier that day during lunch. The four detectives had taken a break from fighting crime and was grabbing a quick bite to eat at Meloni's.

"…yeah, I was always that kid that was picked last for the sports."

Elliot, Monique and Olivia laughed. "I would have picked you for my team," Olivia said, patting Munch on the arm.

"I won't even lie to you Munch, I would definitely pick you last," Elliot said around his mouthful.

"And why is that?" Munch asked, feigning hurt.

"I can't imagine you'd be an adept wrestler."

"On the contrary, I'll have you know that both my ex-wives said that was about all I was good for."

Olivia and Monique laughed, while Elliot shook his head.

"You were a wrestler, Elliot? In high school? What school did you compete for?" Monique asked, spearing a potato from his plate with her fork.

"I went to school in Boston," Elliot said smoothly, batting her hand away.

Munch's sandwich stopped halfway to his mouth. "Boston," he said, wrinkling his forehead. "Elliot I thought you grew up in upstate New York somewheres?"

Olivia snuck Elliot a quick look. Elliot, unfazed, shook his head. "No, I grew up in Massachusetts."

Olivia had to hand it to him, he was a pretty good liar. The conversation moved on to other topics, and finally the four detectives threw down their cash and parted ways. Munch stared at the retreating duo, lost in thought.

"Hel-lo," Monique said, jabbing him in the side. "We going back to the crime scene sometime today or what?"

"Elliot lied about where he was from," Munch said in reply, turning back to his partner. "Don't you think that is odd?"

Monique cocked her eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I've been working with Elliot for two years now, and he's from some town up North…we talked about it…I'll know the name when I see it. What I want to know is why he said he grew up in Massachusetts."

"John…" Monique said wearily. She hated it when Munch went off on these tangents. "You probably just heard wrong the first time. Who would lie about where they grew up?"

"Exactly…"

Monique rolled her eyes. "I swear John, you're only happy when it rains. Seriously, why would anyone lie about that?"

And it was that question that had Munch up at 2 in the morning conducting research. The name of the town had come to him earlier in the day, Lewiston. He was positive that Elliot's family came from Lewiston, New York.

He typed in "Elliot Stabler" and "Lewiston, New York" in the search engine and watched as the hits started rolling in. Indeed, there were quite a few articles on Elliot's high school wrestling career, his many accolades and awards. Satisfied that he had been right, he reached to click off the screen, when a particular link caught his eye. Clicking on it, he pulled up the page.

"Holy shit…" he murmured as he read the article.

XXXXXXXXX

"I'm telling you, anyone who makes that much money a year should play rain or shine."

Olivia threw Brian a look. "But if his ankle is hurt…"

"Tape it up and shut the fuck up," Brian grumbled. Olivia and Monique threw each other a look and just laughed. Munch walked into the squad, searching for someone.

"About time you got here," Monique called out. Spotting her, he beckoned her out into the hallway. She followed him around the corner.

"Where's Stabler?" he asked, looking around her shoulder.

"What's with this Deep Throat crap? What do you want?"

"I need your help Jeffries," he said in a low whisper.

"Okay…"

"Elliot's father, a police officer, did you know he was a police officer? Anyway, he was murdered in the line of duty," Munch said in a rush. He didn't want Elliot popping back in before he could say everything. "The department at the time had no leads to the crime."

Monique's eyes widened. "Where…where did you get all this information?"

"When I was Googling Elliot's name last night," he said matter-of-factly. "Which, by the way, he grew up just where I said he did."

Monique digested this. "That is awful…about his dad."

"That's why I need your help," John said. "There was practically no information in the news articles, but I was able to glean that Elliot's whereabouts that night, as well as his younger brother's, was in 'question' but that's it. But you know how small towns are about their cops. They're practically Gods. It didn't even say how he died."

"John…I'm not sure exactly why you are telling me this..."

"I want to re-open Elliot's father's murder."

Again Monique's eyes widened. "You want to what!"

"Yes, that's where I need your help," he said excitedly. "I want you to take the trip with me this weekend to find and re-interview the detectives who were on the case. There's has to be a reason why Elliot would lie-"

"John," Monique said quickly, holding up her hand. "John, John, John. You can't…investigate a fellow detective. Have you lost your mind?"

"How else am I supposed to find out about it? It's either that or ask Elliot out right."

"No," she said, shaking her head furiously. "Out of the question. Then you are going to have to answer as to how you came across this information. John, this is none of your business. I want you to drop this. Now."

"Monique-"

"I mean it John," she said, raising her voice. A few heads turned their way. Lowering her voice, she said, "Look. I don't want to hear anything more about this. Now, let's get back to work."

Reluctantly he followed her back into the squad room. He would agree to drop the matter for the time being to spare pissing off his partner, but it wasn't his nature to let a good old-fashioned murder mystery go unsolved.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Very Loooooong chapter, but necessary to set up Olivia and Elliot's crime. **

Lyrics from "Be Without You" by Mary J. Blige 

_I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you_

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go  
Neither one of us knew why  
We didn't build nothing overnight  
Cuz a love like this takes some time  
People swore it off as a phase  
Said we can't see that  
Now from top to bottom  
They see that we did that (yes)  
It's so true that (yes)  
We've been through it (yes)  
We got real shit (yes)  
See baby we been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)  
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)  
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel  
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it  
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby  
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it  
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

See this is real talk  
I'm always stay (no matter what)  
Good or bad (thick and thin)  
_Right or wrong (all day everyday)  
Now if you're down on love or don't believe  
This ain't for you (no, this ain't for you)  
And if you got it deep in your heart  
And deep down you know that it's true (come on, come on, come on)Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)  
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)  
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel  
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it  
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby_

He was kissing her passionately next to the water fountain. She threw her hands around his neck and pulled him closer. She hadn't listened. She refused to listen. It wasn't as if she was trying to purposely disobey Byron. But she just couldn't be without him. She knew she had to tell her mom about Byron, but she couldn't quite come up with the nerve.

"Stabler! Benson!"

Startled, the couple broke apart. Mrs. Dotson, Algebra teacher and self-appointed PDA cop, was shaking her finger at them sternly.

"No more of that or you'll both find your fast tails parked in the principals office," she snapped.

"Jealous are we?" Elliot mumbled under his breath.

"What was that young man?"

"Oh nothing, Mrs. Dotson," he said sweetly, giving her his most charming smile. Olivia giggled, when Mrs. Dotson cocked her eyebrow and headed down the hall, already spotting a new set of defenders.

"So…you wanna go to a movie tonight?" Elliot asked her, ruffling her hair playfully. "We could go see _Return of the Jedi."_

"Awesome," she said, swatting away his hands. "What time do you want me to meet you?"

Elliot studied her. It had been like this for the past two months. She refused to come to his house and would not allow him to come to hers, not even to pick her up. She insisted they meet in neutral places. It was obvious she was hiding a big secret from him, much of it evident from the bruises that popped up every once in awhile on her body. He wished he knew a way to get her to open up to him. But he loved her, he was sure of it, so seeing her at all was good enough for him. He didn't know what he would do if he wasn't with her, if he couldn't touch her.

And touch her he did. They had made love for the first time a couple of weeks ago in an abandoned shack they had discovered out in the woods on one of their many walks. He loved their walks. It was a time where they could talk about life, their dreams, what they wanted to be when they grew up, school, anything they could think of.

It was the day that they found the shack that Elliot told Olivia about his father. The man had an Irish temper that he frequently demonstrated to his wife and children, when he was home that is. He used to beat Elliot all the time until he grew almost as big as his him. Now, Elliot worried about his younger brother and sister when he wasn't around to protect them. But policing took up much of his father's time, which was a blessing.

Olivia had cried silently through Elliot's story. When he finished, she looked at him with a look that struck him. _Understanding._

"Want to go right after school? We'll take my car, drive over."

"For sure," she said, her head cocking to the sound of the bell. "I gotta go get dressed for gym before Hannigan has a cow."

"Later, Liv." They shared a quick kiss before heading in opposite directions. The hallway was almost cleared out at this point, so Olivia put a move on it. Flying into the locker room she threw her backpack down and changed into her gym clothes in record time. Turning around, she ran right smack into Mindy McCready, who was flanked by her ever-present shadows, Brandy Powers and Jessica Wright.

"In a hurry Miss Olivia?" she asked, sugary sweet. "I was wondering if you could pencil me in, say, right about now."

Olivia scowled. "I really don't have time for the 'Airhead Brigade' right now. Whatever you want will have to wait until later."

But the trio would not budge. "Let me ask you Olivia, do you normally make it a habit of stealing other girls' boyfriends?" The anger radiating from Mindy's body was almost tangible.

Olivia narrowed her eyes, but remained silent.

"Yeah, do you know what we do to skanks like you, Miss Olivia?" Jessica piped in, snapping her gum.

"I didn't steal your boyfriend, Mindy," Olivia said. "If I recall correctly, he broke up with you first, then hooked up with me. That wouldn't technically qualify as stealing."

"Well, if you didn't steal her boyfriend, I'm sure you stole someone else's," Brandy shot back.

"Woooow," Olivia drawled, feigning awe. "With that kind of logic, you must be a genius. You're a freaking genius."

"Well at least I can do math bitch, because there's one of you and three of us."

With that Mindy gave Olivia a shove, which she promptly returned with her own push. In a matter of seconds Olivia was fighting off the three girls' attacks, trying the best she could to deflect arms and legs coming from every direction.

A shrill whistle blew, freezing the four girls' movements. "That's enough! McCready, Benson, Wright, Powers give me ten laps and 100 push ups now!" Miss Hannigan, their gym teacher, screamed, red in the face.

"This isn't over bitch," Mindy whispered to Olivia as they got up from the ground. Olivia answered her with a glob of spit that hit the pretty blonde square in the face. Screaming in disgust, Mindy blindly started swinging as she and Olivia went down in another heap.

Miss Hannigan rushed over and pulled Olivia off of Mindy. Olivia gave the girl a swift kick to the side of her head before she was completely separated. Miss Hannigan held Olivia with her left hand while she pulled Mindy up with her right, then dragged the squirming duo out of the locker room.

XXXXXXXX

"Right, right," Serena Benson said, glancing at a sulking Olivia. "I really don't know where she gets it from. But don't you think a week's suspension might be a little harsh? I mean, I'm sure the other girl started it."

Mr. Coleman eyed Olivia's mother. "Olivia, would you mind waiting in the outer office? I need to speak with your mother."

Olivia was so pissed she could care less. "Whatever," she snapped, bolting out of the room. Mindy was sitting on a chair, weeping silently, waiting for her mother to pick her up. She was holding a compact, trying to assess the damage to her face.

"Look at this," she squealed, pointing to her face. She had a rather large and nasty bruise that covered her left temple and ran just past her eye. "Look what you did to me. Look what you did! How am I supposed to cheer at the basketball game this Friday?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Dumb ass," she said by way of greeting, "you can't cheer in the game this Friday if you're suspended."

"GRGGRRHHHH!" Mindy growled in frustration. "Eat shit and die."

"Bring it on bitch," Olivia snapped back, jumping up.

"Ladies! Sit down and shut up," one of the secretaries called out to them. Reluctantly, the two obeyed.

Back in the principal's office, Mr. Coleman motioned for Serena take another seat. "Ms. Benson, how is Olivia's home life?"

Serena blinked. "It's fine," she said defensively. "Why do you ask?"

Mr. Coleman chose his words carefully. "She's a very bright student, but some of her teachers have reported they've noticed bruising on her face and body. That and she has a tendency to miss quite a bit of school."

Serena opened her mouth and promptly shut it. She was at a loss for words. Of course, she knew where the bruises came from, Byron had a temper. But it wasn't her fault. He always did it while she was out. She would come home and Olivia would have a cut lip or swollen cheek. What was she supposed to do? And it wasn't like she didn't get her share of it. She unconsciously rubbed her right arm where Byron had grabbed it painfully.

"I can recommend some counseling for the two of you that might help," Mr. Coleman said gently. "Sometimes…sometimes we can't help but hurt the people we love."

Serena shook her head, confused. "Do you…you think I'm the one hurting Olivia?" she asked in disbelief. Her lip trembled. "I would never hurt her…she's my baby. I don't know what I would do without her."

"Well…" Mr. Coleman wasn't sure if he should believe her. If she wasn't abusing her, then who was? "I have to tell you, if the problem persists I'll have to contact social services."

Serena nodded dumbly. She stood up and left the office. Motioning silently to Olivia, the two left the building. Serena was quiet until they were in the car, then she broke down. Olivia watched her mother silently, not sure what to do. This was by far not the first time Olivia had seen her mother cry, but she wasn't quite sure what had prompted it.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry Olivia," she sniveled. "I just…I'm so old…who would love me?"

Olivia's eyes widened. "What…what are you talking about? What happened?"

Serena told Olivia what the principal had said. The implication of it all slowly sunk in for Olivia. Now was the time.

"Mom…about Byron…"

"Can't you just not make him angry?" she pleaded. "Don't make him angry and he won't hit you…I can't live without him Olivia."

Olivia fought back the tears as she listened to her mother. The fact that she was more concerned about a man than her safety made something snap inside of her.

"He beats me because he thinks I'm his girlfriend." There. It was out there in the open.

Serena stilled. "What?"

Olivia swallowed. "He…he does more than hit me…he…he has sex with me mom."

Tears streamed down Serena's face. "You're sleeping with my boyfriend?" she asked, her voice full of disbelief and hurt.

"No, yes, no…Mom!" Olivia pulled at her hair and let out a strangled cry as all control left her. "Mom! He rapes me! What the hell is the matter with you! What the fuck do you think I'm trying to tell you!"

Serena's own temper flared. "I don't believe you," she screamed back. "He wouldn't rape anyone! You must have seduced him. You slut! You seduced him! Admit it!"

"JUST THE FIRST TIME!" Olivia shouted. The intensity of her confession rendered them both silent. Olivia clasped her hands tightly and cried silently. "About a year ago…when you first started seeing him…I was so mad at you one night, when you said I couldn't see Allen because he was your student…I just…I went into your room and climbed into bed with him. I just wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me."

Olivia shook her head as Serena watched her daughter buckle from the pressure. "Now, it's out of control…he controls me. He won't let me go. He said he'll kill us both if I try to leave him or tell on him."

Serena reached over and grabbed Olivia as they both cried, the gravity of their situation weighing on both their shoulders.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Lyrics from "Cop Killer" by Ice-T/Body Count**_

_I've got my black shirt on, I've got my black gloves on, I've got my ski mask on, this shit has been too long  
I've got my twelve-inch sawed off   
I've got my headlights turned off  
I'm 'bout to bust some shots off  
I'm 'bout to dust some cops off!  
-gun shots-  
I'ma cop killer, better you than me  
Cop killer, fuck police brutality!   
Cop killer, I know your family's grievin', fuck 'em  
Cop killer, but tonight we get even  
Got my brain on hype  
Tonight'll be your night  
I got this long ass knife, and your neck looks just right!  
Now my adrenaline's pumpin', I've got my stereo bumpin'_   
_I'm out to kill me somethin'  
A pig stopped me for nothin'! _

Munch pulled his rental car into a parking space and shut off the engine. He mentally collected his thoughts, trying to get his story together. After a nearly two hour long plane ride and a thirty-minute drive, he was sitting outside of the Lewiston Police Department. Flipping up the collar on his signature black trench coat and donning his black fedora, he climbed out of the car and headed inside.

The place looked just like a small town police station should. Small space, cubicles, donuts and coffee galore, and about six pairs of curious, yet mistrusting eyes trained his way.

Munch flashed his badge. "I'm looking for Sheriff Loren," he said by way of greeting. "I'm Detective John Munch, Manhattan SVU."

Long pause. "I'll get him," said a deputy who looked way too overweight to be a cop. Munch waited patiently as the remaining five pairs of eyes continued to study him.

"This has to be the quietest squad room I've ever been in," Munch deadpanned. "Who died?"

Silence.

"Detective Munch?" He turned at the sound of his name and was greeted with another surprise. Sheriff Tony Loren was a young woman in her mid-thirties. Surprise, surprise.

"Please follow me back into my office," she said pleasantly. Munch tipped his hat to the deputies and followed the sheriff into her immaculately kept office.

"Please have a seat," she said motioning to a plush chair. "I have to say, I can't imagine what business would bring a Manhattan sex crimes detective to sleepy Lewiston."

"Actually, I'm here in more of an 'off-duty' capacity," Munch said, in a conspiratorial tone. As he predicted, the sheriff leaned in, eager to hear more. "A friend of mine used to live in this town and he asked me to come and look into the murder of his father." Munch had no idea if Elliot still had ties to the place, and he knew he was taking a huge gamble. He had done some research and had found that he no longer had family in the area, but still the risk was great. He was betting on the assumption that if Elliot lied about the place meant that he had written it off.

"Who's your friend?"

"Elliot Stabler, his father-"

"Oh, Elliot!" she exclaimed, recognition coloring her face.

"You know him?"

"Of course," Loren said, flipping her hand. "My younger brother used to run with him in high school, they were in the same class. They were two classes behind me. How is he? What's he up to these days?"

"What a coincidence," Munch said. "He's a teacher….middle school Geography and coaches wrestling. I can't believe you know him."

"Well, that's how small towns work Detective Munch," she said smiling. "We're all connected in some way, and everyone knows everyone. Where are you from?"

"Baltimore, originally. So, you remember his father's death I presume?"

"Well, I was actually in college down in New York City at the time," she said, scrunching her face up in recollection. "Paul and Elliot were seniors then. It was really tragic, I remember coming to visit for a weekend, and the town was pretty shook. We weren't used to cops getting killed back then. We still aren't."

Munch nodded, digesting this. "But they never found who did it?"

"No, it's still an open case," she said earnestly. "So, that's why you're here? To try and solve the murder? Cop killers get the death penalty in this state as you know."

"Hopefully," Munch said. "I would like to see the case file."

"Sure, give me two seconds."

Munch waited in her office as two seconds turned into twenty minutes. Hastily, she re-entered the room, a manila folder in her hand. "I'm sorry, our filing system isn't exactly efficient. Here you go, I'll leave you alone."

"Thanks," Munch said, his fingers itching in anticipation. "Can I come find you if I have anymore questions?"

"Of course," she smiled, on her way out.

Munch flipped open the folder and perused the file. On the night of April 1, Deputy Stabler received a personal phone call at the station. He reported to the sheriff at the time that his wife was in need of assistance and that he would need to clock out for a couple of hours. Permission granted, Deputy Stabler left the station at 8:09 p.m. and never returned to his shift. His body was found three days later. He had suffered two stab wounds and a gunshot to the head, which was the official cause of death. The medical examiner also determined that he had been tied up and beaten prior to the gunshot.

The Sheriff's office had six suspects at the time of the investigation, all six subsequently cleared. The wife was never considered a suspect because she was in the presence of 20 other members of a Women's Book Club at the time of the bogus phone call. One suspect was a shop owner whose ongoing feud with the police officer was famous around town. Two suspects were known hooligans that had had a run in with Stabler earlier that evening after he caught them attempting to tag the side of a store. One was reported as threatening to kill "the pig" that had confiscated their paint.

Then there was Elliot and his 15-year-old brother, James. James had missed his track practice after school that day, but it was later determined that he was at a friends house engaged in activity with "illegal narcotics." Elliot was also MIA during the time of the murder but was given an alibi by his girlfriend, who the police also questioned.

Munch's heart stopped as he read through the interview notes with the girlfriend. It wasn't so much what was said, but who was saying it.

Olivia Benson.

Munch shut the file and sat back. It couldn't be a coincidence. He let this shocking information sink in. The attitude and palpable animosity on Elliot's part when Olivia became his partner. The way they sometimes looked at each other as if some unspoken communication was transpiring between them. It couldn't be a coincidence. But like a good cop, he would double check.

He stood up and looked out the door. Catching Loren's eye, she immediately came over to her office.

"Find anything pertinent?" she asked.

"Actually I wanted to ask you to jog your memory. Did you know an Olivia Benson?"

Loren leaned against the corner of her desk. "Yeah…I knew of her, yeah, she dated Elliot for a little while," she slowly nodded. "Olivia was one of those tragic girls."

Munch's ears perked up. "Excuse me? 'Tragic'?"

Loren colored. "Well," she said, embarrassed, "her mom was one of the town drunks and she slept around quite a bit. It was rumored that she was sleeping with a married man, but I think it was just a rumor. I didn't know Olivia very well, she was a loner but very smart. I had a chemistry class with her and she could really get the stuff. She missed a lot of school though."

Munch went in for the closer. "What was her mother's name, do you remember?"

"…Sam…Serena…yes, Serena," Loren said, sure of herself. "Olivia and Serena left town not too long after Elliot's father was killed. Paul told me that Elliot had a rough time of it, I guess he really loved her even if they hadn't been dating that long. That, plus his father being murdered, took a toll on him."

Munch thanked Loren for her help and left the sheriff's office. He promised to say hello to Elliot for Loren. It was all he could do to contain his excitement as he climbed into his car and punched Jeffries' number into his cell phone.

"Lo?"

"Mo? It's John?"

"What's going on," she asked in a sleepy voice.

"…What time is it? It's almost three o'clock, why are you still in bed?" he asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

"Late night," was all she said. "Where are you?"

"In Lewiston."

Silence.

"Mo, I got something big."

"John, I told you. I told you to stay away from this…" Even as she said it, her own curiosity got the best of her. When she had warned John to mind his own business it was simply because she didn't think anything would really come of it. But the excitement of John's voice in the receiver had her on edge.

He told her everything he had found out, leaving the big surprise for last. "…and you know who his girlfriend was? Olivia Benson."

"Who…what? _Our_ Olivia Benson?"

"The one and only."

"Get the fuck out."

"Now, my question is this: Why hasn't Olivia stepped forward and admitted that she knew Elliot was lying? And why hasn't she volunteered that they knew each other, dated each other even, back then?"

Monique took in a sharp breath. "Because she also has something to hide." She concluded. "John, go back to your hotel and stay put until I can get a flight out."

XXXXXXX 


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Wooooo, I'm on a roll now. I know exactly what I want to do, but I've been alternating back and forth between my work and this story, so it's slow going. Enjoy. 

**Lyrics from "I'd Rather Be Alone" by Karyn White**

_I know that people do go through changes  
But this just don't make no damn sense  
If we're gonna keep sayin' we love one another  
Well, then we better stop fightin' and arguin'_

Cause baby, I've heard I'm sorry too many, many times before  
Now I know better  
It hurts to hold on to this kind of love even more  
No, I'm not crazy

I won't be a fool, a fool for love  
Cause I know I'd rather be alone than be here unhappy  
I'm not gonna choose, choose for you  
Cause I know I'd rather be alone than be here unhappy

I know it's time to go when I feel lonely  
When I'm layin' in your arms and it don't feel right  
Cause every time I feelin' up you try to bring me down  
So I feel good knowin' I don't need you around

Cause I know, I know that I can feel this bad all by myself  
And maybe that's my best bet  
Starting this time I'm gonna think selfishly  
And never depend on someone else for keepin' me happy

I'm never gonna be a fool for love  
I'd rather be alone, just give it up  
Don't make no sense to be in love  
And be here unhappy, oh, no

It might feel good on a lonely night  
But layin' in your arms today ain't right  
I'd rather lose you than lose my mind

Byron climbed out of his truck and slammed the door. He hated the damn thing, he actually drove a BMW. He only kept it for secretive purposes, so people wouldn't recognize his vehicle outside of Serena Benson's house.

He had a hard day at work and all he wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep. He took out his spare key and opened the door. He was greeted with Olivia and Serena sitting on the couch, holding hands, looking as if they were waiting for him.

They were.

"Hello beautiful ladies," he smiled, pulling on the charm. Both of them were so weak. They did whatever he asked them to, when he asked them to, and when they wanted to show a spark of independence, he promptly stomped it out of them.

"Byron, your time here is up." Serena said. Olivia was amazed at the how calm and strong her mother's voice sounded, because she herself was churning inside with fear. "Put your key on the table and turn around and leave. You're not welcome here."

Byron slowly put down his workbag. "Is there a problem here Serena? I'm a little confused…and maybe we shouldn't talk about this in front of your daughter."

"You mean my daughter or your rape victim?" Serena snapped. "Get out of my house. Now."

"Rape…" he looked at Olivia, genuinely confused now. "Olivia…did you tell her that?"

"Yes," she said, her own voice strong. "I told her everything, Byron."

Byron struggled with his emotions. "Olivia, we are together…Serena she's only saying I raped her because she is too ashamed to admit that she's been fucking her mother's boyfriend. _She_ came on to _me_. Such a slut. Just like you. But I like women like that so it's okay."

"Get out, Byron, or…"

"Or what? You'll call the police?" Byron laughed at that one. "Go ahead. See how far that gets you."

He was right. They would take his word over there's. Serena started tear. "Please, we don't want any trouble, I just want you to go. To leave us alone."

Byron smiled. He always had to do this with Serena. She didn't learn as easily as other women did, say his wife. Instead of doing as she asked, he stooped down and pulled his service revolver out of his bag. Olivia and Serena froze as he casually walked up to Serena and put the gun to her forehead.

"No!" Olivia screamed, jumping up. Byron swiftly back handed her and sent her flying across the arm of the couch. Serena stifled her own scream, too scared to move in case he shot her.

"Get up," he commanded to Olivia. Slowly, she obeyed him. He grabbed her hair and forced her to kneel directly in front of him. She cried out in pain.

"Stop…you're hurting her…" Serena whispered, frozen on the couch.

"This is what happens when you try to tell me what to do," he said in an instructional tone. "I have told you both many times that what I say goes. I don't give a shit what you think, you end where I begin. You do as I say or I'll kill you."

Serena nodded. Byron unbuckled his pants and pulled out his engorged penis. Olivia winced, horrified at what he was about to make her do.

"Do it Olivia, or I'll shoot your mother."

"Nononononononononono," Serena blubbered. "Don't do that, don't make her do that."

Byron shot into the couch right next to Serena, causing both women to scream.

"Okay, stop, don't hurt her," Olivia pleaded. She put his member into her mouth and closed her eyes. She heard her mother's weeping intermixed with Byron's moans of pleasure and encouragement. It was at that moment that she knew.

She was going to kill him.

The thought and almost instantaneous decision calmed her as she finished the degrading act. As soon as he buckled up his pants and took the gun off of her mother, she looked directly in his eyes.

And he saw it too. With a last backward glance, he grabbed his bag and bolted out the door.

XXXXXXXX 

Elliot walked into the diner, searching for Olivia. She saw her slight form slouched in a booth in the back. Hurriedly, he walked over to her.

He hadn't seen her in almost four days, she had missed school, wasn't answering any of his phone calls and, until now, hadn't attempted to call him. He was shocked by her appearance. She had dark circles under her eyes, her hair was unkempt and she looked like she had lost weight.

"Olivia," he breathed, sliding into the booth next to her and enveloping her into a tight hug. He signaled to a waitress. "When was the last time you ate something?"

She closed her eyes and soaked in the feel of him while he ordered food for the both of them. She missed him and had thought about him all week when she wasn't tending to her mother. After the incident with Byron, Serena had gone on a drinking binge that left her a complete mess.

"Liv, what is going on?" he asked, frustrated after the waitress left them. "I haven't seen you in days. I was worried about you babe."

Pulling away, she looked at him. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay…what's going on?"

Olivia searched his face. She didn't know where to start. What she was about to tell him was going to devastate him to the core, and she had to accept the fact that this was most likely the last time she would ever see him.

She had made a decision. She was going to confess to Elliot before she killed Byron. If he reported her, then she would be sent to jail, and Byron would be forced to leave her mother to refute her motive. If he didn't, Byron was going to be pushing up flowers. Either way, she and her mother would be free of him. She didn't care which. She was beyond caring at this point.

But she had to tell Elliot why she had no choice but to kill his father.

"Olivia?" Elliot said, prompting her.

"You look so much like him, but you're the complete opposite," she whispered, with a small smile.

Elliot was confused. "Okay…" he said, laughing nervously. "Like who?"

"He's been seeing my mother for more than a year…and he won't leave us alone."

He could barely make out the words. But for reasons he couldn't explain, he knew exactly what and who she was talking about. The nights away from home. The furtive stares and whispers when he or his family were in public places. He knew. He just never in a million years would have guessed it was Olivia's mother.

Yet, he felt the urge to deny it.

"No…I have no idea what you are talking about Olivia," he said dismissively.

"Yes, you do," she said. "He's hurting us Elliot."

"No…" he whispered.

"Don't you see? That's why I could never go to your house and never let you come to mine, drop me off…you would have found out-"

"My dad was fucking your mother this entire time and you didn't think that was important enough to tell me?" Elliot felt a cold fury. At his cheating, piece of shit father. At that slut Serena. And Olivia. His Olivia. She knew all along.

"I couldn't…I couldn't tell you…" she said tearfully. She paused as the waitress put down their food. Seeing Olivia's tears, she threw her a sympathetic look. _Lovers' quarrel. _"I was too afraid…afraid of what he would do to us…he's a cop…no one would have believed us…"

_The beatings at home had lessened._ He looked at Olivia as if he were seeing her for the first time. _His_ father was beating _her. _The shock of it was making it very difficult to breathe.

"Does he hit you?" he asked in a faint whisper. He knew the answer. The bruises proved it.

Olivia nodded her head. "…and that's not all Elliot. He…forces himself on me..."

Elliot felt like the sky was falling and it was slamming straight into his body. He really couldn't breathe. He had to get out.

"Liv…Liv, I gotta go…"

"No, Elliot please…" She grabbed his arm, but he shook it off. Throwing down some bills, he stumbled out of the restaurant. After some hesitation, Olivia jumped up and ran after him. She ran outside and skidded to a stop. Her face betrayed her horror.

Elliot and Byron were standing face to face.

XXXXXXXXX 


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Short chapter, I'm afraid. I'll try to update sometime today. Even though the song is about infidelity, I just love the title, I think it portrays Olivia and Elliot's dilemma in this chapter, maybe even Munch's.**

**Also, I gotta give props to Maggie for being the first one to figure out Byron's identity, but keeping it to herself so no one else would have the surprised ruined. Thanks girl.**

**Lyrics from "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy **

_We're going down down in an earlier round  
And sugar we're goin down swingin  
I'll be your number one with a bullet  
A loaded gun complex  
Cock it and pull it  
_

And sugar we're goin down swingin  
I'll be your number one with a bullet  
A loaded gun complex  
Cock it and pull it

Olivia was startled awake by the sound of loud banging at her front door. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was nine in the morning. She had slept later than normal which surprised her. She'd normally be up by now.

The insistent banging on her door interrupted her thoughts. Grabbing her robe, she padded barefoot to the door.

"All right, all right, don't knock down my-" she was surprised when she saw Elliot on the other side. He looked and angry. And scared.

"I need to talk to you. Now."

Numbly, she stepped aside so he could barge into her apartment. Instead of taking a seat, he paced back and forth, his muscles tight, his face a permanent scowl.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it," she said, only half-joking.

He studied her, his face a mix of emotions. He had tried his damnedest to make her life completely miserable so that she would have no choice but to just go away. But once it was clear to him that he had failed miserably in this, he had backed off considerably. Sure, they were cordial to each other, nothing more and nothing less, but they co-existed in the same environment, which was more than he would have ever thought possible.

One thing was sure, he had come to find out that the scared teenager he knew 15 years ago was very different than the self-assured woman he now saw before him. Yes, she had her moments, but Olivia had grown into a remarkable, sexy woman and an excellent police officer. In those rare moments when he could set aside his personal resentment and feelings towards her, he grudgingly had to admit he was lucky to have such a competent and smart partner have his back.

And now he needed her to be his partner in crime once again.

"Munch is in Lewiston."

Olivia blinked. "Come again?" she said, craning her head forward as if she hadn't heard correctly. "He's where?"

"Munch is in Lewiston," Elliot said slowly. "I got a call from Danny Neyo…you remember him?"

Olivia looked up. "Ummm, vaguely, yeah…wasn't he one of those debate team or math team geeks?"

Elliot smiled, despite of himself. "Yeah, that's him. He carried my ass through economics, which I will be forever grateful and is probably why we still stay in touch. Anyway, his wife is a clerk at the police station…"

Olivia's face whitened in disbelief as Elliot filled her in about Munch's "investigation." Afraid her knees were going to buckle from under her, she sat on the couch and braced herself.

"…What rang warning bells for Sheila is that, number one, I didn't come myself, and number two, Munch told the Sheriff that I was a teacher, which she knew to be false," he said, finishing his story. "She immediately phoned Danny, who in turn got in touch with me. I told him to tell Sheila to keep a lid on it until I found out what my 'friend' was up to."

Olivia looked up at him. "How…how much does he know? What did he find out?"

"Who the fuck knows," Elliot said, throwing his hands up in the air. "I don't even know how…I just don't understand why he would be investigating me in the first place…Munch is a damn good cop. He's going to find out about you and he's going to find out about…Byron. It's not an 'if' at this point, it's a 'when'"

Elliot looked at Olivia. "We have to do something Liv," he said, using his old pet name for her. "Before he ruins both of our lives. We're looking at the death penalty here."

Olivia scratched her neck. She stood up and headed into the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

What the hell was the matter with her? "No, I want to know what the fuck we are gonna do about this Olivia. Did you hear a word I just said? It's over for us unless we do something."

Olivia poured herself a glass of juice from the refrigerator. After taking a couple of sips, she turned to face Elliot. "Are you suggesting that we kill John Munch?"

Elliot had indeed been thinking along those lines, but to hear the suggestion spoken aloud in Olivia's calm voice shocked him. He started to pace again.

"…We…we couldn't do it ourselves…too risky…we'd have to get someone else to do it," Elliot said, almost to himself, as he mapped out the plan. "Yeah, yeah, we'll hire a pro…someone who will leave no trace, make it look like an accident, and I mean we're cops…we can find someone…we'll make sure it's painless for him."

Elliot looked at Olivia, who was staring at him, her face unreadable. "You don't like that idea? No? Well, Olivia, the only other thing we can do is to confess to Munch and hope that he understands the situation we were both in at the time. Maybe he'll pat us on the back with an 'Atta Kids' and look the other way. Sure, we could try that, but something tells me there's not a rat chance in hell that it will ever work.."

He was shouting now. Olivia took another sip of her juice and looked up again, thinking. "You know, there is another option you haven't considered…" she said slowly.

He lifted his arms in a "What?" gesture and let them fall back to his sides.

"Yes, we could kill him, or we could confess in hopes of garnering his sympathy and understanding," she said, echoing his suggestions. She took a deep breath. "Or we could confess to him and take our punishment, be what it may."

Elliot laughed. "You can't be serious," he said in disbelief.

Olivia set her glass down on the counter. "The good guys always win, Elliot, you know that," she said quietly.

"Why did you become a cop Olivia?"

She was wondering when he was going to get around to asking her. "Because I know what it's like to be a victim. And if I can save someone from going through that, then I have given a little back to this world, to make amends for my own sins."

"Byron was the reason," Elliot said simply, with a faraway look in his eye. "That was my burden." Olivia studied his handsome profile as she could visually see him struggle with the past.

He snapped himself back to reality. "I can't go to prison. I won't go to prison."

"We were juveniles at the time Elliot," Olivia said, trying to reason with him, "we might not get the death penalty, we could be tried-"

"Easy for you to talk this shit," Elliot snapped. "I have a family. I can't desert them. I told you to stay away Olivia. I told you to go."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "And what exactly makes you think that my presence here is what tipped Munch off?"

Elliot opened his mouth with a retort, then promptly shut it. She was right. There was no way of knowing, short of asking Munch.

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity, staring at each other, no words spoken, but so much said.

"Let's go," Olivia said, breaking the silence. "Let's get to the airport, we might be able to get a flight out."

Elliot shook his head. "What the hell for?"

"Let's see what we're up against," she said, grabbing her coat and purse. "If I'm going to be plotting an innocent man's murder, I would like to at least see what he knows."

XXXXXX 


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I need help folks so I'm asking you guys, The Awesome Readers. I have quite a bit of ground to cover before we finish this story up, but I have a few ideas on how I want to end it. Problem is, it depends on E & O's fate. Let me put it to you guys: Should they be convicted or fail once again to get caught? Privately, email me your vote and I'll give the people what they want (of course, it won't be revealed until the last chapter.) Or, ya'll can just leave it up to me. Thanks!**

**Lyrics from "Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own" by U2**

Tough, you think you've got the stuff  
You're telling me and anyone  
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight  
You don't have to always be right  
Let me take some of the punches  
For you tonight

Listen to me now   
I need to let you know  
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Byron stared at his son in surprise. He had stopped at the diner to pick up a quick bite to eat before heading back out on his patrol.

"El, what's up? You-" It was then that he caught sight of Olivia. His face visibly darkened, but he quickly pulled on his cop face. "You wanna grab something with me before I have to get back to work?" he asked, pointedly ignoring Olivia.

Not noticing Olivia behind him, Elliot shook his head. "Your…you may not want to go in there," he said harshly. "Olivia Benson's in there."

"So?" Byron said, feigning innocence. "Who cares?"

"She told me everything, Dad, everything, everything you did," Elliot said in a rush, as if he could say it quickly, it wouldn't hurt so much. "How you been cheating on mom, raping and beating up Olivia-"

Quick as lightning, Byron reached out and seized Elliot by the throat, cutting off the angry torrent of words. Olivia gasped silently. She wanted to get help, but she couldn't move, frozen in place as the family drama unfolded before her.

"Shut. Up." Byron said menacingly. "What the fuck is wrong with you to talk to me like that. You gonna take that cunt's word over mine? She's just a piece of ass Elliot, just like her mother. That's all women are Elliot. A piece of ass."

Elliot struggled against his grip. When Byron was positive he had driven his point home, he released Elliot who stumbled, coughing. Byron threw Olivia a look, telling her to get lost, but still she was frozen.

Elliot straightened up, his face bright red from the lack of oxygen. As soon as he was sure he had caught his breath, he slammed his fist into the side of his father's face with all his weight behind it, knocking the older man to the ground.

"Elliot!" Olivia screamed. She watched in horror as Elliot followed him down, screaming in rage.

Elliot was on top of Byron now, wildly punching his face, head, neck and chest. The feel of his father's flesh beneath his fists fed the rage that he had possessed ever since he was a small child. Byron fought back hard, just as strong as Elliot, as the two men rolled across the ground, pounding each other mercilessly.

Olivia was finally spurred into action. She ran back into the diner to get help, knowing things were only going to get worse, fast.

Mistakenly thinking he had successfully disabled him, Elliot tried to stand up, but his father kicked him hard in the thigh. Grunting, Elliot immediately went back down, throwing punches left and right as Byron claimed the upper hand.

Olivia ran back outside, followed by four male patrons and the owner of the diner. The group of men converged on the scuffling duo, wrenching the two apart. Olivia ran up to Elliot and tried to throw her arms around him, as if that could protect him from his father.

"Good Lord…" the diner owner, Mr. Willie cursed, as he surveyed the damage inflicted by father and son. He made the sign of the cross. He called to one of his waitresses. "Marsha, call 911."

"What? No," Byron said, trying to take control of the situation. He was a police officer dammit, he wasn't going to the hospital for having a fight with his son. He wasn't unaware of how bad he looked, but every inch of his body was shooting intense pain signls into his brain. Suddenly, his legs gave out on him and he slumped to the ground gritting his teeth.

Elliot was in equally bad shape. He bent over and grabbed his knees, struggling to catch his breath. He could feel the blood pouring from his nose, hear it splattering the ground below. Olivia kept a hand on his back, slowly rubbing it, whispering words of comfort.

"You two look like the devil had his way with you," Mr. Willie said, shaking his hand reprovingly. "Wait for the ambulance."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Elliot could hear the sirens in the distance. He and his father stared at each other from across the battle zone with venom in their eyes, like two prize pit bulls ready to pounce should their handlers unhook their leashes. And so it was, until the paramedics bundled them into separate rigs and sped away.

XXXXXXX

Olivia was waiting in the hallway of the hospital for Elliot to be released, feeling extremely uncomfortable and inferior. The source of her discomfort, Elliot's mother, was sitting across from her, trying to coax Elliot's little sister to sit down.

Olivia studied the other woman. Perfectly curled hair, and milky white skin met a starched white blouse, modest plaid skirt and sensible shoes She looked like she belonged on the cover of Good Housekeeping, Olivia thought. What in the world possessed a woman like that to marry Byron Stabler? The contrast between Elliot's mother and her own was striking.

Feeling the eyes of the teenager on her, Dora Stabler kept her eyes primly pointed away choosing instead to focus on her youngest child. She looked up as the doctor came down the hall.

"Mrs. Stabler? We're just stitching a few cuts, treating a few bruises and, in Elliot's case, taping a few ribs," the elderly doctor said kindly. "But they'll both be fine."

Olivia and Dora breathed a collective sigh of relief. The doctor turned to Olivia. "Are you…Olivia?"

Olivia glanced at Dora, unsure. "Yeah…yes."

He smiled. "I was told to give this to you," he said, handing her a small, folded piece of paper.

Olivia accepted it and flipped it open. _Meet me at the shack tonight at midnight. Bring clothes, whatever else you need to get outta town. _

Quickly, refolding the note she stood up to leave but stopped and turned toward Dora Stabler. She felt compelled to say something to the woman, she just didn't know what would be deemed appropriate at a time like this.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry he's your husband," she said dumbly. _Smooth, Olivia_.

"Well, it would seem as if your mother and I are attracted to the same type of man, so I suggest you apologize to her as well," she answered coolly. Olivia's cheeks deepened a crimson red. Nodding her apology, she turned to leave.

"Olivia?"

_Great._ Timidly, she turned around.

"Olivia is a very pretty name," Dora Stabler's face had softened.

"Thank you," Olivia replied, her voice barely audible, still embarrassed by her faux pas.

"My son…" she continued. "Thank you for loving him."

Olivia gave the older woman her first real smile of the night. Then she turned and walked out, her mind on the meeting ahead.

**XXXXXXX**

Elliot unfolded himself painfully from the low seat of the Camaro. Shit, he thought. This was going to be rough going. He felt the pain from his ribs threaten to topple him. He saw Liv's bright green Bug parked outside of the "Love Shack" as they affectionately called it. He shuffled up the steps and let himself inside.

Olivia was sitting on a chair, waiting for him. She jumped up and silently gave him a tender hug, which he instinctively returned. They held each other for a long time before reluctantly pulling apart.

"How's your family? Was…was it rough?"

Elliot did a half shrug. "No, no one said anything to each other the entire time. My Mom took us home and set us both up in our respective rooms. She never asked what had started it, which isn't unusual for her or my family. My bro came home and thought we were all on crack though. I snuck out after everyone was asleep."

He looked for her suitcase, but didn't see it, just a small shopping bag. "Where's your stuff?"

Olivia pursed her lips. "I'm not running away with you, Elliot."

Elliot gingerly sat down. "'We' aren't running away, 'you' are," he corrected her. "I'm convinced that he will eventually kill you. I would go with you, I want to go with you, but I have to protect my family. I can't abandon them to that monster. But you can't stay here, it's not safe."

"It's not now, but it will be." Silently, she pulled out a six-inch blade and a handgun from the shopping bag and set both items on the table. Elliot's eyes widened.

"Liv…what the fuck?"

She swallowed. "That's what I was trying to tell you at the diner," she said. "I'm going to kill your father, Elliot. I'm sorry. I can't let him terrorize me or my mother anymore. But…I love you so much. More than I love myself. I had to tell you first, to give you the chance to save his life."

He was transfixed by the weapons before him. Dazed, he looked up at her. "Save his life?"

Olivia nodded. She looked at him steadily in the eyes. "You can get up and leave this shack and report me to the police right now," she said quietly. "I'll be put in jail, but he'll have to stay away from my mother, too much heat will be on him.

"But if you don't," she continued, "I am going to kill him. Tonight. And I will make him suffer, slowly, for everything he did to us. I want you to know that. That I will torture him without blinking an eye.

But, I love you. You've given me the best six months of my life. I'm giving you the choice. To choose for him."

It was so quiet in the shack as Elliot digested the information and Olivia waited for his final decision.

"You're not gonna kill him tonight…" he said slowly, finally speaking up.

Olivia closed her eyes. Elliot had spared his father. So be it.

"…wait until he goes back to work."

Olivia's eyes popped open. "…what?"

Elliot shifted painfully in his chair. He knew what he had to do. He had to do something to bring back honor to the Stabler name. He was just ashamed that he hadn't done it sooner. "When he gets back to work," he repeated. "We'll take him then…I know what we can do."

Olivia wasn't sure if she had heard correctly. "We? Elliot…Elliot, no…"

"Yes," he said firmly. He reached for Olivia's hand and clasped it in his own. "I can't let you do this alone. He's my father…my burden. My responsibility. I can't let him continue to hurt people. Especially the people I love. Especially you. If we do this, we do it together."

Olivia bit her lip. "I would never…ask this of you…"

"It's done," he said brusquely. On to the matter at hand. "You've got the tools to do the job, but you forgot the most important part of the plan."

"What?"

"How to get away with it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Lyrics from "Father" by LL Cool J**

_I swear to tell the truth and nothin' but the truth...  
So help me god  
I just felt like telling the story of my life  
Felt like, maybe somebody could be inspired, you know?  
We all feel pain, we all go through things  
But it's time to overcome all that_

If your plane crashed in the water and everybody died  
Would you drown on purpose or try to survive?  
I was born handicapped my arm wouldn't move  
They called me a cripple pops caught an attitude  
Beat my moms smoked lye drove trucks  
My moms had a miscarriage, he didn't give a fuck  
He sniffed some coke, come home  
Beat up on my moms cause she's talking on the phone  
Come on

Moms got tired of the beatings said, yo, we got to go  
Packed up her bags we bounced out the do'  
She said, I ain't taking these whipping's no mo'  
I wanna live to see my little Todd grow  
I remember tear drops on my pops face  
Looking down at me standing on the staircase  
Handsome brother with a smooth goatee  
Makes me wonder why he act so ugly, you feeling me? 

My pops got drunk when me and my moms bounced  
Swigged some jack dan', sniffed up a ounce  
Grabbed the shotty left long isle for queens  
Possessed by a demon... a devil it seemed  
I was too young to understand the risk  
When your moms come home off the midnight shift  
She turned around heard the shotgun click  
My pops said, you think that you could leave me?  
He blasted my moms in the back  
She fell down screaming I can't forget that  
My grandfather tried to close the do'  
He got shot ten times in the stomach yo, for real

"The guy was a fucking bastard."

"Tell us how you really feel," Munch deadpanned.

David Watson shrugged. "I fucking hated him, made my life miserable. I was just a kid you know? All kids get into a bit of trouble every know and then."

Jeffries consulted her notes. "Yeah, but we heard you got into more than just a 'bit' of trouble Davey. Burglary, assault, possession of stolen property, possession…"

"What, some weed? Pffft," he said, waving his grease-stained hand in dismissal. "Fucking bullshit. He just wanted to harass me. Besides, half that shit was after the bitch bought it."

They were standing in an auto body shop where Watson was a mechanic. Unlike the police station when he first got to town, no one here paid Munch or Jeffries any attention. It was Watson and his friend, Richard Skylar, who had fought with Stabler that night after he prevented them from vandalizing a building. Skylar was currently doing time on a grand larceny charge.

"So you threatened to kill him, then what happened? Munch said, prodding him along.

"He took out his night stick and whacked me in the shoulder blades with it," he said with a scowl. "When I hit the ground, he put his boot on the back of my neck and pressed down real hard and twisted it, like he was grounding out a cigarette or something. Shit hurt."

"Maybe he didn't take your death threat too lightly Davey," Munch said.

David shook his head. "No, you don't get it about him. That was like the 18th run-in we had with that guy. He was crazy. He got off on pain, seeing you suffer or humiliating you. One time, he arrested this chick, made her strip down to nothing, then put her in the back of the squad car and drove around town, hitting all the spots where people hung out. Another time, he busted my boy's nose for nothing. Nothing, just standing there. Said 'That's what you get for looking at me.' He had to go to the hospital."

Jeffries and Munch shared a look. "None of this was in his file," Jeffries said. "Why didn't anyone file a complaint?"

David spit. "Are you fucking serious?" he asked. "What good would that have done? Cops out here, especially back then, got away with everything."

"So you told the police back then you and Skylar went back to your mother's house after Stabler let you go. You didn't come up with a plan of revenge, lure him out of that police station? Maybe make him pay for all the times he harassed you and your friends?" Munch suggested.

"Back to my moms house," David repeated, rolling his eyes. "That's what we did."

Munch and Jeffries nodded then headed towards the door. David called out to them. "Look, it was only matter of time before the dude was going to get it."

The partners turned around. "Did you hear about something before hand David?" Munch asked.

"Naw," David said, shaking his head. "But he pissed every a lot of people off. Even his son beat the shit out of him one time."

That got their attention. "Which son?" Jeffries prodded.

"The older one. They got into a fight outside of Willie's diner. The kid put a hurting on him. I heard it was fucking awesome."

"When was this?"

David threw a gesture. "I don't know…maybe a week or two before he bought it."

**XXXXXXXX**

"Yeah, they roughed each other up real good," the old man said. "It took four guys to pull them off of each other."

Jeffries and Munch were too busy chomping to answer right away. "Is it normal for dads to be having drag out, knock down fights with their kids around here?" Munch asked around his mashed potatoes.

"Who knew you could get delicious southern fried chicken in Upstate New York?" Jeffries asked in wonder, spearing another piece from her plate.

Mr. Willie smiled. "That's an old recipe dear, rather famous around these parts," he boasted. "But to answer your question, Byron Stabler got into a lot of fights around here."

"Really?"

Mr. Willie made a show of looking over his shoulder. He leaned in. "You know, I don't really like to speak ill of the dead…"

"It's okay," Munch and Jeffries said in unison.

"But Stabler had himself quite a temper…I heard he used to knock his family around…there were some rumors he was running around in the streets…the guy just wasn't very popular around here."

"Did you ever think the abuse allegations were true?" Munch asked. Damn. Poor Elliot.

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "I really liked the family, the mom and the kids. Elliot was a star around here, a great athlete. Everyone loved him, so different than his father. But they never seemed happy around the father. And he was…there was something off about him."

"Meaning…"

"He was cold mean."

Munch and Jeffries looked at each other. "As opposed to hot mean?" Munch asked, somewhat sarcastically.

The old man shifted his feet. "We've had our share of violent men in this town, beat up their kids, wives, dogs, whatever," he said. "But most of the time, alcohol and drugs would get these guys going. But with Byron Stabler…he never touched any of that stuff. The devil made him mean."

The two nodded. "So, what started the fight between Byron and his son?" Munch asked.

"You know, I have no idea. I never thought to ask," Mr. Willie admitted. "I would have never known they were fighting if the girlfriend wouldn't have ran in screaming."

Munch and Jeffries heads snapped up. "Girlfriend…Benson?"

"Yes, Olivia, nice girl, very respectful," Mr Willie smiled. "She moved away along time ago with her mother. I always thought it was odd…"

"Odd…?" Jeffries asked.

"Well," the old man seemed reluctant, "you know I don't like to gossip…"

The detectives were losing patience. "Anything you can give us will help. You've been such a big help so far."

The compliment satisfied Mr. Willie. "Well, it was rumored that Byron was … 'in a relationship' with Olivia's mother. These are just rumors of course," he said quickly.

"Really?" Jeffries' look of shock mirrored Munch's own.

"Yes, so I always thought it was odd that Olivia was dating Byron's son…I mean, wouldn't that have been…awkward?"

Munch and Jeffries finished up their conversation with Mr. Willie, thanking him profusely for his help and promising to leave a big tip. Alone, Munch and Jeffries stared at each other across the table.

"Get the fuck out. This is like reading a Danielle Steel novel," Jeffries finally said. "So what do we got?"

"Byron Stabler was a sadistic bastard that got off on humiliating and hurting others. I'm starting to think his killer deserves a medal instead of a life sentence."

"Besides that."

"I have a newfound respect and understanding for Elliot."

"Okay, besides that."

Munch ticked off the facts. "Olivia and Elliot were together. So apparently was Byron and Serena. We can assume if he abused his family and his perps, he probably abused Serena, maybe even down to Olivia. So that means his family, Serena and Olivia, plus every skel he ever came into contact with had a motive to kill him."

"Ugh, no wonder they couldn't solve this case," Jeffries said. She squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her temples. "You really stepped into this one John. My head is starting to hurt."

"Well, the pain is about to get worse Monique."

She opened her eyes. "What?"

Munch was staring out the window, his mouth agape. "Shit. Look."

Jeffries turned around and looked outside. Leaning against their rental car was Elliot and Olivia.

**XXXXXXX**


	16. Chapter 16

**Lyrics from "Threat" by Jay-Z**

_Put that knife in ya, take a little bit of life from ya  
Am I frightenin ya? Shall I continue?  
I put the gun to ya, I let it sing you a song  
I let it hum to ya, the other one sing along  
Now it's a duet, and you wet, when you check out  
the technique from the 2 tecs and I don't need two lips  
To blow this like a trumpet you dumb shit  
This is a un-usual musical I conductin  
You lookin at the black Warren Buffett so all critics can duck sic  
I don't care if you C. Delores Tuck-it  
Or you Bill O'Reilly, you only rylin me up  
For three years, they had me peein out of a cup  
Now they bout to free me up, whatchu think I'm gon' be, what?  
Rehabilitated, man I still feel hatred  
I'm young black and rich so they wanna strip me naked, but  
You never had me like Christina Aguiler-y  
But catch me down the Westside, drivin like Halle Berry  
Or the FDR, in the seat of my car  
Screamin out the sunroof death to y'all  
You can't kill me, I live forever through these bars  
I put the wolves on ya, I put a price on your head  
The whole hood'll want ya, you startin to look like bread  
I send them boys at ya, I ain't talkin bout Feds  
Nigga them body-snatchers, nigga you heard what I said_

Grown man I put hands on you  
I dig a hole in the desert, they build The Sands on you  
Lay out blueprint plans on you  
We Rat Pack niggaz, let Sam tap dance on you  
Then, I Sinatra shot ya God damn you  
... I put the boy in the box like David Blaine  
Let the audience watch, it ain't a thang  
Y'all wish I was frontin, I George Bush the button  
Front of all you in your car lift up your hood nigga run it  
Then lift up your whole hood like you got oil under it  
Your boy got the goods y'all don't want nuttin of it  
Like, castor oil, I Castor Troy you  
Change your face or the bullets change all that for you  
... y'all niggaz is targets  
Y'all garages for bullets, please don't make me park it  
in your upper level, valet a couple strays  
from the 38 special, nigga, God bless you

When the gun is tucked, untucked, nigga you dies  
like numchuks held by the Jet L-I  
I'm the one, thus meanin no one must try  
No two, no three, no four, know why?  
Because one's four-five might blow yo' high  
You ain't gotta go to church to get to know yo' God  
It's a match made in heaven when I 'splay the 7  
Put you on the nigga news, UPN at 11  
Where you been, you ain't heard, got the word that I'm  
that I'm so sin-surr?  
I'm especially Joe Pesci with a grin  
I will kill you, commit suicide, and kill you again

"Lewiston Police Department."

"Hello…Larry?"

"Yes?"

"This is Dora Stabler. How are you?"

"Dora! Long time no hear. What can I do for you?"

"I am so sorry to bother you, but is my husband at the station? I need to speak with him, it is somewhat of an emergency…"

"Absolutely. Hold while I connect to him."

Olivia threw Elliot a quick look of confirmation while she waited for Byron to pick up the line. Elliot answered with his own nod and turned back towards the street, resuming his lookout duties. They were standing outside a pay phone near the library. It closed early that day, so they knew little or no traffic would be around in case they were spotted.

"Stabler."

"Byron, it's me. I told the front desk I was your wife."

Silence. "Is everything alright Dora?" he asked after a brief hesitation.

Olivia was relieved he had kept up the act. She couldn't risk anyone overhearing the conversation. "Can you leave the station for a little bit? I need to talk to you…it's important."

"I'm really busy…can it wait?"

"No…it's about Mom…I think I hurt her….she said she was going to tell on you…"

Elliot was amazed at how believable Olivia sounded. She had managed to imitate his mother's voice in a near perfect pitch and now she truly sounded desperate for his dad to come help her. After a few more words she hung up.

"He's coming."

XXXXXXXX

Byron Stabler pulled his RMP into the abandoned lot and parked behind his Chevy truck. It was near dark except for the faint glow of a dim street bulb. No one ventured over to this part of town except teenagers looking for a place to screw or hoodlums that were up to no good. He had no idea why Olivia wanted him to meet her here of all places. Despite himself, he was worried about what kind of trouble she had gotten herself into and pleased that she would go as far as to hurt Serena for threatening to turn him in. And for that he would help get her out of whatever mess she was in. He watched as she got out of the cab of the truck and walked back over to his car. She was dressed in head to toe black and matching gloves which he thought was odd, but quickly forgot as her tear stained face came into view.

"Byron," she whispered, when he rolled down the window. "I'm so glad you came. You have to help me."

"What the hell happened? And why are you in my truck?"

"I think she's dead…I didn't mean to hit her that hard…"

Oh, shit, he thought. "Where is she? Is she at the house?"

"N..no, she's in the cab of the truck…she's bleeding and she won't wake up…"

Byron looked towards the truck. "Damn it Olivia," he snapped, climbing out of his vehicle. "Why did you put her in my fucking truck? Is there blood everywhere? Did you at least put something down so she wouldn't bleed over the seats…"

He was still complaining when he wrenched open the door. There cab was empty. He furrowed his brow in confusion. He started to turn around to confront Olivia when he felt a sharp pain to the back of his head. He stumbled against the open door and slid to the ground. His body half twisted, he looked up and saw Olivia and his oldest son standing above him before the darkness took over.

XXXXXXX

Byron felt a jarring shock to his body and wrenched his eyes open. His vision was fuzzy and his body felt like it was on fire.

"About time you woke up you mother fucker."

Olivia was standing in front of him, his police issue baton in her hand. The look on her face was one of unadulterated hate, so twisted he almost didn't recognize her. He struggled to get up but found that he was tied to a straight-backed chair with ropes that were cutting into his skin.

"Where…where's Elliot?" he croaked.

He was answered with a blow to the back of his head that almost knocked him unconscious for the second time. Elliot came into his view and stood by Olivia, his face almost identical hers. For the first time in a long time he felt an unnerving sensation.

Fear.

"Are you scared Dad?" Elliot whispered.

"Wait…wait…you don't want to do this…are you two fucking crazy?"

"Tell me that you're scared," he insisted. "I want to hear you tell me that."

Byron was overcome with anger. "No," he growled. "I'm not scared. Because when I get out of this chair I'm going to snap both your necks."

Olivia answered his threat with a swift chop of the baton to his knees. Byron howled in pain as Olivia delivered another blow.

"How long did you think you could go around terrorizing us Byron? Everything you did to me, my mother, did you really think I was going to just stand around and wait until you killed us?"

Olivia picked her foot and pushed it into Byron's groin. Forcefully, she pushed against him, twisting and grinding as he struggled in pain. "Never again will use this as a weapon to hurt me," she said near hysterical, before lifting her foot up.

"Your mother is an ugly, good for nothing drunk Olivia," he said when he finally caught his breath. "You defend her? She never did a damn thing for you and she never will. No one gives a damn about you or your mother. You're both stupid, ugly sluts. Did you tell Elliot how you seduced me? How you wanted me to do it to you? Did you tell him that? Without me you're as good as dead. At least I cared about you."

Elliot punched him hard in the stomach. "Don't…don't you talk about her that way."

He turned to Elliot, heaving. He wanted to throw up. "And you," he hissed. "Everything I did for our family…all I did was work while your mother sat around and had fucking brats…I didn't want any of you, nothing but fucking trouble and mouths to feed. I would have left a long time ago…but I loved you. I would die for my family. And you would piss it away for some bitch."

Elliot and Olivia just stared at him and his contradicting statements. Then in eerie silence peppered by only Byron's screams and grunts, they hit him, kicked him, scratched and clawed at him. Eventually he passed out from the excruciating pain. The two patiently waited until he regained consciousness, neither of them speaking, each lost in their own painful memories and thoughts of the evil man that sat broken before them

"What…now?" he whispered, blood gushing out of his mouth. Olivia picked the knife off the table and straddled him. In two quick jabs she stuck the knife in his stomach, blood splashing the front of her dark clothes. Byron's eyes widened in shock and pain. He tried to speak but nothing but a gurgled sound came out.

"Move Olivia."

She looked back at Elliot. He was holding the gun. "No," she said shaking her head. A bullet is too good for him…let him bleed to death."

Elliot looked at his father, his eyes still wide open, staring at him. Even as the blood seeped out of him, he still held a look of defiance.

"No, he's suffered enough. He knows his fate." Elliot bent down and looked deep into his father's eyes. "Remember who did this to you," he whispered.

He abruptly straightened up and shot him point blank in the forehead.

XXXXXXX

If there ever were an out-of-body experience, this would be it, Olivia thought.

Elliot and Olivia heaved Byron's body out of the chair and carried his lifeless corpse to the pickup truck. After shoving him unceremoniously into the back, they hopped into the cab and drove an hour out of town into the middle of a deserted field, the nearest abandoned farmhouse about six miles away. They pulled Byron's body out, walked a couple of feet, and dropped him into the field.

Olivia noticed that the grass was pretty high and if you stood at a certain angle you couldn't see his body. She glanced at Elliot who was staring at his hands, a look of disbelief and wonder on his face. He probably looked just the way she felt. She started to tremble with the weight of it all. She should have never have gotten him involved.

"You have to go now," she whispered harshly, her voice betraying her fear. She pushed him roughly, as if her might was enough to propel him away from the field, away from the horrible act. Elliot stumbled, his right foot catching on a dead shrub.

"What are you going to do? You can't just stay here," he snapped back in his own whisper.

She hesitated, looking at the ground, at the prone figure who stared sightlessly back up at her. She shuddered visibly, wrapping her arms around her body tightly, trying desperately to find warmth that would never come. "I…feel like someone should call the police…I should call 911."

Elliot stared at her unbelieving. "Olivia, have you lost your mind? We have to stick to the plan!"

She was white as a sheet. She looked up at the sky. No chance of her getting to heaven. Ever. "Maybe if I say that…I was taking a walk through the field…and I found him…"

Elliot shook his head hard. "No," he said firmly. "We leave. Now."

Olivia nodded her head, her thoughts clearing. She noticed the blood on Elliot, on his hands, face, clothes…Jerkily she looked down at her own body. Blood was everywhere.

"Oh my God…Oh my…" she cried.

Elliot grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. Startled, she fell silent.

"Listen to me," Elliot demanded, his voice again a whisper. "We'll go to jail…they'll kill us, give us the death penalty...our lives will be ruined…we're only seventeen."

Olivia stared into his eyes. "Why Elliot?" she asked.

"Because I had to," he answered simply.

He turned and left, she following close behind. They hopped back into the cab of the truck and drove off, leaving Byron's battered and bruised body behind. They drove an additional long hour from the drop off point to a secluded area they had scouted out beforehand. The ride was dead silent as each was lost in their own thoughts.

Pulling deep into the woods, they reached a clearing where they had left Olivia's car. Earlier that day, Elliot had followed Olivia in his car and picked her up after she had dropped off hers. They picked this spot not only because of the seclusion, but the fact that there was a small creek that ran through it. Each had the presence of mind to know they would need somewhere to clean up.

Stripping naked, the duo washed the blood off their bodies the best they could, then changed into clothing they had stashed in Olivia's car. Taking the bloody clothes and gloves, Elliot threw them into the truck before setting it afire. Meanwhile, Olivia threw the gun and knife down the deep hole they had dug earlier and set about burying them.

Finished, they watched the flames of the truck. The last symbol of Byron Stabler.

"It's over," she whispered, mostly to herself. "It's finally over."

"We have to get out of here before the fire department comes," Elliot said.

"He'll never be able to hurt me again," Olivia said dully, making no move from her spot. "He's gone now." Elliot turned to her and grabbed her arm. Startled, she looked at him.

"What?" she said, terrified. "What's wrong?"

"Listen…it's over and done, we can't turn back now," he said intensely. "We need to start getting our heads into survival mode. They will find his body. They will find the remains of the truck. We need to remember our stories. Now it's all about not getting caught."

Olivia nodded jerkily. "Yes…yes…it's all about not getting caught. We can't get caught."

Elliot nodded along with her, satisfied that she was back on planet Earth. "Good, let's get out the hell out of here."

XXXXXXXXX


	17. Chapter 17

**Hola peeps. Someone had asked me if the story was starting to wind down and the answer is yes. I'm going to miss this story, I've had so much fun! But I do already have an idea for my next one. **

**I have a confirmed five chapters left, maybe one or two more depending on if I can make this ending believable. I may have to add in more to the story line to get it to flow. Thanks for all the reviews, they are always much appreciated.**

**Lyrics from "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen  
**_  
Is this the real life-  
Is this just fantasy-  
Caught in a landslide-  
No escape from reality-  
Open your eyes  
Look up to the skies and see-  
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-  
Because I'm easy come, easy go,  
A little high ,little low,  
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,  
To me_

Mama, just killed a man,  
Put a gun against his head,  
Pulled my trigger,now he's dead,  
Mama ,life had just begun,  
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-  
Mama ooo,  
Didn't mean to make you cry-  
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow-  
Carry on, carry on ,as if nothing really matters-

Too late,my time has come,  
Sends shivers down my spine-  
Body's aching all the time,  
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-  
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-  
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)  
I don't want to die,  
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all-

Nothing really matters,  
Anyone can see,  
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Olivia glanced at Elliot as they sat outside the diner waiting for their fellow detectives. His face was a stone mask. She really hadn't believed his suggestion to murder Munch back at her apartment. She refused to believe that this man could ever go through with killing an innocent person.

At least that's what she _hoped. _

It wasn't hard to find Munch. After checking into the hotel, the only one in town, Elliot had simply asked the desk clerk if his colleague, a John Munch, had checked in and what kind of rental car he was driving. The information was happily handed over by the desk clerk, an overweight young woman with pasty white skin and shocking purple and yellow hair. It was then that they received yet another shock.

"Yeah, he's with that other co-worker of yours…the black woman? She came a day yesterday."

Olivia's heart stopped cold. One quick look at Elliot confirmed his reaction. "…Monique Jeffries?"

The woman looked down at her guest sheet. "Um…yeah…that's her."

Elliot smiled tightly and stalked out of the lobby, Olivia following quickly behind. He was silent as they slipped into the vehicle. He reached to put the key in the ignition when suddenly he started pounding the steering wheel with both hands, causing Olivia to jump in her seat.

"Goddammit, what are the fucking chances!" he said in anger in disbelief. "What are the fucking chances! Jeffries is here too? What the fuck is going on? I gave them nothing. _Nothing_, Olivia."

Olivia watched as he slumped in his seat, breathing heavily. Tentatively, she reached over and put a hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes, not moving away. It was the first time she had touched him intimately since they had become partners.

"We still don't know how much they know," she said quietly, but even she saw the likelihood of them arriving in time to stop the flow of damaging information was slim. This was a small town. Gossip spread like wildfire and everyone was eager to talk to everyone. Much like it was after they had killed Byron.

"It was…overwhelming with just Munch," he said, his eyes still closed. "But Jeffries is involved now too? Liv…what are we going to do?"

Despite the gravity of the situation, she again noticed that he had used his old pet name for her. "Find them," she said simply. "We'll tell them that we found out they were snooping and that they should respect our, I mean your, feelings and drop it. Your father's death was very painful for you and you don't wish to dredge up old memories."

He finally looked at her. "You really think that's going to work?" he asked sardonically. "That simple, huh?"

Olivia withdrew her hand helplessly. "It's worth a shot. What else are we going to do?"

He threw her a knowing look. Olivia's eyes widened.

"Elliot…I know you're upset…but that's not the answer. We can't kill them both."

And they had driven off from that spot, Elliot not answering Olivia's protest. After fifteen minutes of driving they had found Jeffries' and Munch's car outside of Willie's. But what a long and painful fifteen minutes it turned out to be for Olivia. This was the first time in more than 15 years that she had stepped foot in this town. They passed the library, post office, grocery and tackle store, Mulligans…each unassuming landmark assaulted Olivia with painful memories and regrets. She nearly breathed an audible sigh of relief when they spotted their colleagues' rental car.

Elliot jammed the car into park. Staring over at him, she took note of the hard set of his jaw and jerky movements. _He was losing control._

"Remember Elliot, you're not like your father," Olivia said desperately.

"That's funny, because my father never tortured and killed anyone," Elliot said grimly, before getting out of the car and slamming the door.

"No, he never killed anyone," Olivia corrected to the empty car. Sighing, she got out as well.

During the last decade and a half, Olivia Benson had made a certain peace with herself. Her kind of peace. It was a long and arduous journey, but she had made it to what she had perceived to be the end. She had made peace with her mother as well, who also resided in New York City, about ten blocks from Olivia's own apartment. Olivia knew that she couldn't change the events of the past, she could only navigate the future. And that future meant forgiving her mother for her parental neglect.

It also meant facing up to the consequences in the death of Byron Stabler.

While Olivia had no intention of turning herself in for something she still believed she was justified in doing in order to protect herself and her mother, should the time come if or when she was caught, she was ready to face the music and take the punishment the law handed out to her.

It was blaringly apparent to her that Elliot didn't share this same newfound peace and belief. And this in itself was chaos to her rock-solid peace. Because if it came down to Elliot choosing to kill to keep his secret, Olivia would be hard pressed not to help him.

She owed it to him.

So was just going have to do her damnedest to fix this situation some other way.

Not wanting to cause a scene inside the diner, or run into any old friends and acquaintances, Elliot and Olivia waited outside for Munch and Jeffries in complete silence. About twenty minutes later, the two emerged and immediately headed towards the car.

"Apparently, they aren't too surprised to see us," Elliot said in a low voice.

Olivia glanced at him. "Well, we're not exactly being very subtle if that's what you mean."

The four detectives squared off like opponents on a football field, no one daring to speak first. Munch took the time to study Stabler and Benson and was met with a moment of clarity. The same intuition that brought him to this sleepy town was the same intuition that burned in his stomach, vying for his attention. Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson were somehow involved in Byron's Stabler's death. He didn't know how, and still hadn't pieced together the why, but he knew they were in it up to their eyeballs. The thought sickened and saddened him.

But he would prove it. No matter what the cost.

"Welcome to Lewiston," Elliot said sarcastically. "I see you've had a chance to sample the town's fare."

"I could say the same for you, but apparently you've done more than your share of 'sampling' since you spent a good part of your life here," Munch shot back. "Or maybe you forgot that little tidbit of information while you were traveling around Boston."

Elliot crossed his powerful arms across his chest. "What are you doing here Munch?" he snapped. When his query wasn't immediately answered, he turned to Jeffries. "What did he tell you? Why are you here with him?"

Jeffries looked nervously at Munch. "John…we…are looking into your father's murder," she said finally. "John found some information that might be helpful to bringing your father's killer to justice."

Elliot felt his chest tightening. "This is a bit out of your jurisdiction, don't you think John? I certainly hope you are getting some overtime for your trouble."

"A little bit," John answered nonchalantly.

"Well, I think it's time for you to go back home. Now," Elliot said angrily. "This so-called 'investigation' of yours stops now. And trust me on this John, you don't want to fuck around with me. Not on this."

"Don't you want to find out who killed your father? I find it a little odd that a son wouldn't want to know the answer to that, especially a son who is a police officer and has resources to do the job!" Munch was baiting him, throwing out insinuations, hoping Elliot would bite and give him something to go on.

Elliot wasn't that stupid. "That's funny, because if you were really interested in my involvement in finding the killer wouldn't you have told me about this little trip? Maybe asked me to come along instead of going behind my back and dragging Jeffries in the middle of it? This is bullshit. Get a fucking life. You and Jeffries are leaving. I'll kindly escort you back to the hotel so you can get your shit."

"I'm not going anywhere Elliot, I came to do a job. So I just suggest _you_ pack up and leave and stay out of my way."

"How did you even know that Elliot's father had been murdered?" Olivia asked quietly.

"Well…oh…she speaks," Munch stuttered, but he was caught off guard. Jeffries was feeling bad to worse as the two went back and forth. They were wrong to be doing this. She knew it. Regardless of who killed Elliot's father, they had betrayed their fellow cops and friends.

"Why were you snooping into my past Munch?" Elliot asked harshly.

"Because you lied about where you were from…it went from there," Munch answered for the first time apologetically. "It went from a simple background check to a mountain of information and mystery about your father, you…and Olivia."

Olivia didn't doubt that they had stumbled on her time in Lewiston, but the revelation still hurt. She didn't want anyone to know about that time if they didn't have to. She stepped forward and placed a hand on Munch's arm. "I…I'm not sure what you have found, but I…I must tell you that my time here wasn't an altogether pleasant one. As you undoubtedly know now that some of that history is intertwined with Elliot's. There are painful memories here that I would like to forget and that I never thought that I would have to discuss with people in my present life."

The pain in Olivia's voice was enough for Jeffries. Before Munch could respond, she stepped in. "We're going home Olivia," Jeffries said, looking into her friend's eyes. "We had no right to impeded on yours or Elliot's privacy. Please accept my, our, apologies. We thought we were doing something good, but I can see now that we have unearthed issues that we need not know about. If you'll excuse us, we'll get in the car now."

"Did you know that the police at the time thought a woman was involved," Munch threw in to no one in particular.

Elliot faked impatience. "So…what?"

Munch shrugged. "A woman called the precinct that night pretending to be your mother. I don't know, maybe you can think of any woman that would hold that much of a grudge against him to want him dead."

Elliot did his own shrug. "My father had a lot of enemies," he said in a bored voice, "wouldn't surprise me."

Jeffries threw Munch a silencing look. "Get in the car John. We're done here."

Munch silently walked around the car while Monique slid into the driver's seat. Before opening his door, he paused and looked directly at Elliot.

"Did you kill your father Elliot?" he asked, suddenly.

"No, I didn't," he answered with steady voice and eyes.

Munch pursed his lips and slid into the car. Olivia and Elliot watched as the blue Ford Taurus drove away. Olivia expelled the breath she didn't know she was holding.

Maybe you can think of any woman that would hold that much of a grudge against him to want him dead._ Olivia felt faint. _

"He doesn't believe you, Elliot."

"I know."

XXXXXX


	18. Chapter 18

**Lyrics from "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins**

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord  
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh lord  
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord

Well, if you told me you were drowning  
I would not lend a hand  
I've seen your face before my friend  
But I don't know if you know who I am  
Well, I was there and I saw what you did  
I saw it with my own two eyes  
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been  
It's all been a pack of lies

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord  
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord  
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord  
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh lord, oh lord

Well I remember, I remember don't worry  
How could I ever forget, it's the first time, the last time we ever met  
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me  
The hurt doesn't show; but the pain still grows  
It's no stranger to you or me

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord...

Dora Stabler keyed open the back door of the house and silently let herself in. She had forgotten to put her copy of _Pride & Prejudice _in her bag before going to the community center for her weekly book club meeting. She dashed upstairs glancing at her watch, satisfied she had plenty of time to make it to the meeting.

Dora searched the room she shared with her husband until she found the book she was looking for. Just like Byron to move her items, she thought irritably. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and paused for a closer inspection. She had deep lines etched around her eyes and forehead. Those who knew her well knew they weren't laugh lines. Dora sighed and closed her eyes, leaning heavily against the dresser. If it weren't for her children she would have left Byron Stabler long ago.

He would never let you leave.

Dora's eyes flew open. The thought was so loud she almost convinced herself she had spoken aloud. It was then that she heard the door slam and voices downstairs, interrupting her of her depressive thoughts. She knew James was at track practice and Elliot was studying with his girlfriend. Tonya was at the daycare at the community center and Byron was at work… it was odd for someone to be home at this time, she thought. She left her room and headed towards the stairs.

The voices were clearer now and she recognized one to be Elliot's. Sighing in relief, she started to trot down the stairs when she heard a statement that stopped her cold.

"We have to remember to throw these clothes in the truck before we burn it, in case we get blood on them you know?"

Dora was confused, but followed her instincts. Creeping slowly down the stairs, she reached the bottom and peeked around the corner, straining to hear more. She was looking straight into the family room and was shocked to see both her son and Olivia half naked. She soon realized they were merely changing their clothes.

"What about the gun and the knife? Are we still going to bury them?" Olivia asked, tugging on her black sweatshirt.

"Yes," Elliot confirmed. "I don't want to risk them popping up in the river or a trash can somewhere. At least then we know they won't be discovered any time soon."

_Gun? Knife?_ Dora's mind was racing faster than her heart was beating. She knew she should step in, see what the hell these two were up to, but she wanted to hear as much as she could.

"Liv," Elliot said distractedly, lacing up his shoes. "The knife I can understand…but the gun? Where did you get it?"

"It's Byron's," she said. "I don't know where he got it, I guess it's his off-duty gun, but he keeps it at our house underneath Mom's bed."

Once beating rapidly, Dora's heart stilled. _Underneath her Mom's bed._ She always knew Byron was cheating on her with Serena Benson. But to hear it confirmed caused a pain so severe she could hardly stay up right. Byron was a flawed man, but after everything he had put her and her children through he could have at least stayed faithful to his vows, the vows he took before God. Regardless of this revelation, she was now positive Olivia and Elliot were intent on hurting someone.

"Awesome, if anyone ever finds it, it will be traced back to him," Elliot said appreciatively. "Good thinking Liv."

Olivia blushed. "Yeah…I guess. I was kinda thinking more along the lines that it would be poetic justice to shoot him with his own gun," she said, embarrassed.

Dora grabbed the banister to keep from toppling over. _They are going to kill Byron._

Elliot stood up and faced Olivia. They stood like that for a minute, sharing an intense and personal look between them. Dora almost felt ashamed to be witnessing such a private moment.

"This is it Olivia," he whispered. "If we're going to turn back, we have to do it now."

Olivia's eyes filled with tears. "You can turn back Elliot. I can't, I won't…you know that. My earlier offer still stands. You…you don't have to do this. You can do the right thing. You can stop this now...before it's too late."

He smiled sadly. "This is the right thing. I told you I can't let you do this alone…my father hurt you so much and it's my responsibility to make it right. I love you Olivia."

He pulled her to him and they shared a passionate and deep kiss, clinging to each other as if they were the other's life support. The scene was so intense Dora had to look away. _Don't they know they aren't alone?_ she thought wildly. _Didn't they see my car? _It was then she realized she had parked in the garage and let herself in through the back door. They were probably parked out on the street.

"…remember what to say?" Dora snapped back to attention.

"Yes," Olivia said, still breathless from their kiss. "I'll pretend to be your mom and it's an emergency. When he picks up, I'll tell him it's really me and that I hurt my mom."

"Bingo, you got it."

"Are you sure your mom is at her meeting?" Olivia asked nervously. "I don't want to get her into any trouble…"

"No, my mom's a creature of habit," Elliot said, self-assured. "She'll be there with a dozen other women from the neighborhood that will testify that they saw her at the time of the phone call. She'll be in the clear."

Olivia gave him a lop-sided smile. "You thought of everything."

Elliot whistled. "We'll see won't we? Let's do it."

Dora snapped her body back until she was flush against the wall, out of sight. She watched as Olivia and Elliot walked past her and out the door, each dressed in head to toe black, looking like two Grim Reapers on a mission. As soon as the door slammed shut, she slid to the floor, collapsing on the first step.

Call the police. Call Byron and warn him. Run outside and stop those children from taking a man's life.

Logical thoughts were running through her head, but Dora could not move. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her son was going to kill her husband. His father. For Olivia. She didn't even want to think about what "hurt" constituted, but he believed Byron was capable of almost anything. And her son was going to help her put a stop to it.

Dora opened her eyes, her vision landing on a photo of her and her children hanging from the wall. Byron had refused to be in the picture, said photos robbed you of your soul.

_Too late_, she thought icily. _You never had one._

She gazed at the picture, her three lovely, innocent children. She could live without Byron Stabler. She could support her children and raise them in a home that wasn't ripe with emotional and physical abuse.

And she could protect her son.

"God forgive me," she whispered.

Dora Stabler pushed herself off of the floor. She checked herself in the mirror, made sure she showed no signs of despair and grief, smoothed down her blonde hair into its usual coiffed condition. Then she grabbed her bag and walked briskly to the back door.

If she hurried, she could still make it on time for her meeting.

XXXXXXX


	19. Chapter 19

Holy shit I am on a roll. I have to give a shout out to Saint New because I was thisclose to stealing her idea about Cassidy, but alas I have to stick to my original plan. But good idea anyway.

**Lyrics from "Fix You" by Coldplay**

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse _

And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
when you love some one but it goes to waste  
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And I

Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you.

"I'm not going Monique."

Jeffries was on the verge of tears. She could not remember the last time she was so angry with her partner. "You are not listening to reason John," she said desperately.

"No, not listening to reason is to walk away from this investigation and let two people get away with murder," he said angrily, pacing back and forth in his room. "They did it Monique. You know it."

She shook her head. "No, I don't…listen, we are all scheduled back to work tomorrow…what the hell are you going to tell Cragen?"

"That I had to take some personal time," he said. "Monique, I can understand if you walk away from this, but I can't."

"Yes, you can!" she shouted. She was losing control because she was so afraid that Munch really would prove that Elliot and Olivia murdered Byron Stabler. "This is not our job! We are out of our jurisdiction. You and your nosy, paranoid tendencies is what got us into this mess. Walk away. It's not worth it. They're cops."

"Yes, they're cops, which means they should be held to a higher standard than the rest of the population!" he shouted back.

"They were children! They weren't cops back then! Byron Stabler was a sick mother fucker who preyed on innocent people! You don't know what they went through. We should be trying to help them, not hurt them. Is it so hard for you to put yourself in their shoes?"

Munch slumped on the edge of his bed. "No, it's not," he said quietly. "But regardless of what kind of man Byron was, Elliot and Olivia made a choice. The wrong choice. There's no fixing that. And even the devil deserves justice Monique."

Monique stared at her partner. "I guess I'm going home without you."

"I guess so," he said, standing.

Monique picked up her bag and walked to the door. She turned around for one last plea.

"Do you really think they would stand by quietly and let you ruin their lives?"

Munch had thought of that. If they had killed once, they could certainly kill again. "It's a risk I'm willing to take Mo."

Nodding numbly, she dropped her bag and threw her arms around him. He tightened his hold on her. "Be careful John…"

"I will," he said, letting her go.

XXXXXXX 

Elliot watched from his hotel window as Monique Jeffries got into a cab. Alone.

He wasn't surprised. Munch was a warrior in his own right. He wouldn't sacrifice his integrity for anyone. And for that Elliot had no choice but to respect him. The world needed more John Munch's.

He grabbed his hotel key and walked the two doors down to Olivia's room. After a soft knock, she opened the door in nothing but a terry cloth robe and wet hair, and allowed him entry. A strawberry scent touched his nose and he felt a strong sense of longing.

Olivia watched as Elliot stretched out onto his back on the spare bed in her room and stared at the ceiling. She sat on her bed facing him.

"I used to tell Munch stories about me while I was growing up," Elliot said. "It was ridiculous of me to lie about where I from."

Olivia remained silent, afraid to speak.

"I lied to protect us and it sealed our fate. Why didn't you just leave like I asked you to?"

Olivia shook her head. "Elliot…I'm sorry. I truly am sorry."

"Munch didn't leave Olivia," Elliot said, his voice devoid of emotion. He reached into his shirt pocket and handed her a scrap of paper. She opened it to Elliot's familiar scrawl.

_Sperry – 555.8898._

"It's a pre-paid phone. I used one as well and dumped it. Can't be traced back to me," Elliot went on quietly, cutting into Olivia's stunned silence. "He'll take care of everything. We need $5,000 up front and another $5,000 after the job is completed."

Olivia didn't know if she wanted to scream or cry. _Damn it Munch. Didn't he understand she was trying to save his life?_

"You've got it all figured out don't you," she chuckled, trying to mask her horror. "Just like the first time. All the dots connected."

"I can come up with $7,000, can you do the rest?" He stared at the ceiling. There wasn't any other way. He had spent the last two days convincing himself of that. _There wasn't any other way._

Olivia slid off of her bed and climbed on top of Elliot, straddling him. She leaned down until he focused on her anguished face. Wisps of her damp her brushed against his face and he breathed in her wonderful scent.

"The good guys always win Elliot," she whispered.

"Some might say we're the good guys," he whispered back, looking deep into her eyes. "It's not my family's fault…I can't let them suffer for a mistake I made 15 years ago. I can't bring that pain to them. I promised myself I would be a better father and husband than my father was and I'll be damned if I fail them. I don't expect you to understand."

Olivia swallowed. "You already are," she said. "Doing right by your family is to accept responsibility for your actions…not to commit another crime."

Elliot smiled. "Here you are again, trying to talk me out of doing something. Only this time, you aren't willing to do the dirty work yourself. You aren't willing to do it at all."

Olivia let out a sob. She laid her head against his chest and cried. "You have no idea how much I want to go back in time and do it all over again," she choked. "The worst and only mistake I made was telling you what I was going to do. I should have never gotten you involved."

Elliot stared above her dark hair, feeling her shaking body. "I told you then, and I'm telling you now: The moment we stepped out of my house that night, there was no turning back. We made a promise to never get caught, now we need to keep that promise."

He looked down at the crown of her head. "Now's the time for you to prove to me that you can still keep at least some of your word."

Her head snapped up. She looked deep into his eyes and saw the hurt she had caused him the day she walked out of his life forever. She knew what she had to do. It was to right not only one, but all the wrongs she had committed.

"I can keep my word Elliot. I can keep my word."

He nodded, swallowing. "I…I'll make the call in the morning."

She nodded, climbing off of him. He got up and walked to the door. Pausing with his hand on the doorknob, he looked back at her. Tears shone brightly in his eyes. "Do you…did you ever wonder what if?" he asked, almost afraid of her answer.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. "Every day for the past fifteen years."

"Are you ever going to tell me why?"

"One day, Elliot. One day."

He nodded, accepting it. He turned and walked out. She closed her eyes and counted to 100. Once there, she opened up her eyes and wiped the tears from her face. Changing into a comfortable sweatsuit and sneakers, she left her room and padded down the hall. Finding the room she wanted, she rapped loudly on the door.

John Munch opened the door, not bothering to disguise the look of utter surprise on his face.

"Olivia…can I help you?"

She smiled sadly, tearfully. "No, I came to help you. You can stop investigating now and you can leave Elliot alone. You're looking at your killer."

XXXXXX 


	20. Chapter 20

**Long one, but I think it's a goodie. It'll answer one question in particular. Enjoy.**

**Lyrics from "911" by Wyclef & Mary J. Blige**

_If death comes for me tonight, girl_

_I want you to know that I love you_

_And no matter how tough I wouldn't dare_

_Only to you I would reveal my tears_

_So tell the police I ain't home tonight_

_Messin' around with you is gonna get me life_

_But when I look into your eyes_

_You're worth that sacrifice_

_If this is the kind of love that my mom used to warn me about_

_Man, I'm in trouble_

_I'm in real big trouble_

_If this is the kind of love that the old folks used to warn me about_

_Man, I'm in trouble_

_I'm in real big trouble_

_I need y'all to do me a favor_

_Someone please call 911 (pick up the phone yo)_

_Tell them I just been shot down_

_and the bullet's, in my heart_

_And it's piercin through my soul (I'm losin blood yo)_

_Feel my body gettin cold_

_Someone please call 911 (pick up the phone yo)_

_The alleged assailant, is five foot one_

_and she shot me through my soul_

_Feel my body gettin cold_

_Mary J. Blige_

_So cold_

_Sometimes I feel like I'm a prisoner_

_I think I'm trapped here for a while_

_(but I'm always right here with you girl)_

_And every breath I fight to take_

_Is as hard as these four walls I wanna break_

_I told the cops you wasn't here tonight_

_Messin' around with me is gonna get you life_

_Oh yeah, yeah_

_But everytime I look into your eyes_

_Then it's worth the sacrifice_

_Wyclef_

_If this is the kind of love that your mom used to warn you about_

_Man, we are in trouble _

_You're in real big trouble _

_If this is the kind of love that the old folks used to warn me about _

_I'm in trouble _

_I'm in real big trouble_

_You got anything to say, girl?_

_Mary J. Blige_

_Someone please call 911, yeah yeah (pick up the phone yo)_

_Tell them I just got shot down_

_And it's piercin through my soul (I'm losin blood yo)_

_Feel my body gettin cold_

And so it began. 24 hours after Byron Stabler failed to report back to duty or return home, an APB was issued in Lewiston and all surrounding towns for the missing police officer. Elliot played the shocked and concerned son as the situation called of him, but it wasn't really much of a stretch. He had been plagued with nightmares since that night. Guilt over his sin and fear over getting caught struggled for his consciousness, threatening to consume him.

72 hours after Byron's disappearance, the Stabler family got the call. A search team found Byron's body in an abandoned field about 40 miles outside of Lewiston. The Sheriff respectfully requested that his mother meet him down at the county morgue. Dora tearfully agreed and hung up the phone.

"I'll go…mom you stay here with Jimmy and Tonya."

Dora shook her head. "No, I have to do this. You stay here."

Elliot knew what his mother was in store for and he was damned if he was going to let those images stay in her head. Like they stayed in his. He finally convinced her to let him do it alone.

24 hours after Byron's body was found, search teams found the charred remains of a truck. Evidence showed that someone had, possibly the killer or a passerby, doused the truck to keep the fire from spreading into the woods. Miraculously, one of the license plates had been spared, and police officials had traced the truck back to a Cheryl Sunstone. Records showed Sunstone had died in late 1978 of cardiac arrest, so the police were sure someone had stolen her information to register the truck. Regardless of the obvious, they couldn't trace the truck back to a suspect or the victim.

48 hours after Byron's body was found, the real nightmare began. Elliot and James were on the top of the suspect list and each had spent hours in the interrogation room down at the station. James had skipped track practice that day and was refusing to divulge his whereabouts, afraid of admitting he was at a friend's house getting high, which the police subsequently discovered to be true. While James was indeed caught, his drug use gave him a rock solid alibi as the other kid's mother and a neighbor confirmed that they both had caught her son, James and two other friends in the garage and had raised holy hell. The youths had pleaded with them not to call the police so they wouldn't be kicked off their respective sports teams.

Elliot's alibi, on the other hand, was a much more shaky. He told police he was at his girlfriend's house for a study date. Olivia confirmed this, also offering up the assignments they had worked on. But the police couldn't find anyone else who saw him leave or enter the premises. Serena Benson could only testify that Olivia was the only one home before she had left that night, and was the only one home when she later returned. An independent witness did offer that he had seen Elliot's red Camaro parked outside of the residence, but couldn't remember exactly what time that was. It also didn't help Elliot's case that numerous witnesses, plus an ER doctor and nurse, remembered the fight between him and his father outside of Willie's diner only two weeks before.

Two weeks after Byron's body had been found, the police started to lessen up off of James and Elliot Stabler. They couldn't find any concrete evidence that the two had been involved in their father's murder, plus the town and its police force didn't really want to believe that the star athlete really could have participated in something so heinous.

Not that it mattered. Elliot started spending every night at Olivia's house, too afraid to sleep in his own bed, in the house he shared with his family that carried the ghost of Byron. It was a puzzling state for Elliot. Before, during and even a short time after Byron's murder, he hadn't felt a shred of remorse for what he had done. He wasn't sure when his conscience came back to him, but it was rearing its ugly head. He wanted to talk to his priest about it, Father Michael, during confession, but he promised Olivia that he wouldn't. She wasn't Catholic, nor was she religious in any sense, and the thought of him confessing what they had done frightened her beyond belief and she begged him not to. They couldn't tell anyone, regardless if his priest was morally bound to keep his secret.

One night, Olivia watched as Elliot twisted and turned in his sleep. He had missed a lot of school and walked around with deep circles underneath his eyes and a stoop to his shoulders. Those who saw him attributed it to the grief over his father's death. She knew better of course. If Olivia had any regrets over the murder of Byron it was of involving Elliot. She had done this to him. She held on to him tightly as he twitched, silently praying that this awful time would just hurry up and pass.

XXXXXX 

Four weeks after Byron's body was found, Dora Stabler stood outside of the Benson home. She had never stepped foot inside the yard, much less the house but the time had come. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders, smoothed down her perfectly creased slacks and headed up the walkway.

She raised her hand to knock but the door suddenly opened. Serena Stabler gazed back at her, her face unreadable. Dora was surprised to see that she was dressed rather conservatively in a long sleeved black cotton shirt and slacks that closely mirrored her own.

"I'm a professor at the community college," Serena said, answering Dora's thoughts.

Of course. It was so easy to forget things such as that. Dora thought that Serena should have been more surprised to see her. "Were you expecting a visit from me by any chance?"

"No, but I watched you from the window," Serena said matter-of-factly. "You stood outside the gate for almost five minutes."

"I'm sorry to bother you…is Olivia home?" Dora asked. "I was wondering if I could speak to the two of you."

"Sure, come in," Serena said stiffly. Dora wasn't sure what she had expected, but the Benson home was clean, orderly and cozy. She looked at the homey touches the two women had added and was shocked to see it wasn't any different than her own home. Serena, again reading her thoughts, smiled wryly.

"Please have a seat in the living room, I'll get Olivia."

Dora obeyed, sitting gently on the couch. She gazed around the room, oddly affected by the fact that her husband had spent so much time here, away from his family.

"Hi, Mrs. Stabler."

Dora turned to see Olivia enter, her mother close behind. Dora was again pleasantly surprised by Olivia's natural beauty, much like she was that night at the hospital. Women spent thousands of dollars on products every year to get that look, but Olivia was blessed. It was so easy to see why her son would be so taken by her. Enough to kill for her.

Unlike her mother, Olivia looked shocked by Dora's presence. She took a seat next to her mother on the opposite couch and clasped her hands together tightly. It didn't escape her that Dora was sitting on the same couch where Byron had…she couldn't finish the thought.

"I would like for the two of you to leave Lewiston."

Olivia and Serena stared at her. "Leave Lewiston…like for a vacation or something?" Serena asked, wrinkling her brow.

Dora took a deep breath. "No. I want the two of you to relocate. It would be best for my family if you two no longer lived here. I can give you $15,000 to help cover moving expenses and for compensation."

"You can't be serious," Serena said, her eyes narrowing.

"I couldn't be more serious Ms. Benson."

Olivia started to giggle. Bending over she grabbed her knees and starting laughing heartily. Serena looked at Olivia as if she had lost her mind.

After a minute, Olivia regained her composure. "Mrs. Stabler," she said, wiping the corner of her eye. "With all due respect, you can kiss my rosy pink ass."

Dora sighed. "Listen-"

"No, you listen," Olivia said, a half smile still on her face. "You have a lot of nerve walking into our home and demanding that we pick up and move. Who the fuck do you think you are? I know you like to pretend that you are better than everybody, but we" she paused, pointing to her and her mother "don't need your damn money and we aren't going anywhere."

"The two of you are a strain and embarrassment to my family," Dora objected. "It's bad enough…with Byron. But people are starting to talk…people are starting to talk about whether or not you were sleeping with my husband. My children shouldn't have to bear the brunt of your indiscretions Serena."

Serena opened her mouth to speak, but Olivia beat her to it. "_We_ should have to uproot our lives so _you_ can save face?" she asked incredulously. "Mrs. Stabler, you are unbelievable. Yes, my mother was in the wrong, but so was Byron. Whether you like it or not, people are going to talk. Tough shit as they say. And if you think I'm leaving Elliot at a time when he needs me the most, you can forget it."

"Well, you can certainly blame yourself for his suffering Olivia," Dora said icily.

Olivia froze. Serena piped up. "Are you serious? The poor boy has been accused of his father's murder, of course he is suffering. It's a shame, but it's not Olivia's fault. If anything she is helping him through it."

Dora looked straight into Olivia's eyes. "Is she?" she asked evenly.

Olivia felt like fainting, but she pulled her resolve together. Standing up, she walked towards the door. "I think it's time for you to leave Mrs. Stabler," she said, motioning to the door.

Dora made no move to obey. "$15,000 to move,"

"Get the-"

"…and you leave no later than next week-"

"-fuck out."

"or I turn you and Elliot in to the police."

Serena gasped and Olivia's vision blurred. She stumbled back to the couch and collapsed on to the arm.

"What…what the hell are you talking about Dora?" Serena's head whipped back and forth between her daughter and the older woman.

"Olivia knows exactly what I am talking about," she replied in the same icy tone.

"Well then someone fucking fill me in," Serena said hysterically. _No…_

Olivia looked up and saw the clear look in Dora's eyes. _She knew._

"What…what did Elliot tell you?"

Dora shook her head quickly. "He didn't tell me anything."

Olivia saw a spark of hope. "Then…I have no clue what you are talking about."

Dora didn't want to do it this way, but Olivia and Serena had left her no choice. "You didn't see me, but I was there. You changed into black clothes in my family room…you rehearsed with Elliot about how you were going to pretend like you were me and call Byron at the station…you had to remember to burn the clothes inside the truck…you buried the gun and the knife-"

"STOP!" Serena jumped up and pulled a dazed Olivia into a protective hug. "Get out! Stay the hell away from my daughter! She didn't do anything wrong!"

Dora ignored her, feeling her own throat constrict. "The guilt is killing my son," she said, holding Olivia's vacant gaze. "You've done enough to him and Serena has done enough to my family. I want you out of this town."

Dora stood up. Serena hugged Olivia tighter. "Every day he sees you, he is reminded of what he believed he had to do for you. You seduced him into helping you kill his father. And that is killing him. If you love him like you say you do, you'll leave. Or I will be forced to turn you both in."

Serena shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense," she stressed. "You want to help him, but you'd put him in jail to punish Olivia? How exactly are you helping him?"

Dora felt her calm demeanor slipping. "I don't want to put my son in jail!" she exclaimed. "But I truly believe that if he went to jail, he would have some peace of mind that would assuage him of some of that guilt. But I don't want to send my son away to prison. The next best thing is to for Olivia to get out of his life forever."

Serena let go of Olivia and stood up, facing off with Dora Stabler. "My daughter had nothing to do with Byron's death, she is not like that. I don't know what you think you saw, or what you think you heard-"

"Did you bring the money?"

Olivia's quiet voice startled both women. Serena whipped around. "Olivia? We don't have to-"

Olivia stood up as well and cradled her mother's face. "Yes we do," she said. "We did it Mom. I couldn't let him…It had to stop."

Serena's face crumpled. Olivia guided her mother back to the couch. "Did you bring the money?" she repeated.

Dora clicked open her Prada purse and pulled out a folded manila envelope. "You can count it-"

"I don't need to count it," she snapped irritably. "Well, looks like you got your way Mrs. Stabler. Just do me a favor huh? Let me find a way to tell Elliot."

Dora paused. "You can never tell him that I know. You can never tell him-"

Olivia held up a silencing hand. "I know, I know…he'll never know about this…arrangement…he would try to stop us from leaving. I'll…figure out something to tell him."

Dora nodded shortly. "No later than next week," she replied. "No need to show me to the door."

Olivia nodded and watched her walk out. Sighing, she joined her sobbing mother on the couch.

XXXXXX 


	21. Chapter 21

Lyrics from "Run" by Snow Patrol 

_I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done_

And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do

Slower slower  
We don't have time for that  
All I want is to find an easier way  
To get out of our little heads  
  
_Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess_

He ran.

He could have walked back up to his room and grabbed his car keys, but at that moment the only thing his mind said was "move."

So he ran.

He saw the flashing lights grow smaller in the distance, but he knew the way. He tried to clear his head as his legs pumped beneath him. What had happened? What went wrong? What could he do to fix it?

He ran past the familiar landmarks, his lungs burning with the exertion but he didn't notice.

He saw them put her into the squad car, Munch getting in behind her. He was shocked, confused and scared and just dropped his soda from the vending machine.

And ran.

He had to save her. He had to save Olivia.

So he just ran.

XXXXXX 

Munch gazed at Olivia from the open door. She was sitting in the interview room at the station, the perfect picture of calm if you didn't notice the incessant tapping of her index finger on the table. They had pulled one of the town's public defenders out of bed and he was sitting next to her, talking in low tones. The district attorney was flipping through the case file, trying to get acquainted with the facts. A fifteen year old murder mystery solved, he thought. Beautiful.

Munch tried to gauge Olivia's demeanor. It appeared that she wasn't paying much attention to her attorney, but every so often she would nod her head.

Munch polished off his coffee and rapped on the door. The defense attorney, Steve Mackavoy, motioned for him to enter the room. Sheriff Loren and the DA, Mark Prosser, materialized behind him and followed him inside. They took their seats on the opposite side of the table from Olivia and Makavoy.

Munch had been shocked when Olivia had knocked on his door earlier in the evening. Her face was tearstained and she had pretty much confessed to Byron Stabler's murder.

"…Olivia, what exactly are you saying," Munch said, leaning forward in the doorway.

She smiled brokenly. "The game is up as they say," she said. "I don't want to say anymore until I talk to an attorney."

Munch was silent. "I'll have to put you under arrest," he said finally. He patted her down. "I won't put the cuffs on until the cruiser gets here."

Olivia nodded. She entered the room and sat down on the bed and watched while Munch called the police station. After hanging up the phone, he sat down next to her.

"Olivia is there anything you want to tell me before the police get here? Because once we get to the station-"

"Save it John," she said with a small smile. "I'm a cop too, remember?"

He smiled, in spite of himself. "Okay, is there anything you want to tell me anyway?"

"No…not now…just that Elliot had nothing to do with it. He's innocent."

And she wouldn't say anymore. They had sat in silence until the patrol car arrived to take her to the station. Once there, he supervised her booking. Now, he was ready to get to the bottom of this. He wasn't buying her statement that Elliot wasn't involved.

"Hi Olivia," Sheriff Loren said. "I don't know if you remember me…"

Olivia smiled. "Yes…Tony? We shared a few classes right?"

"Yeah, you were always in the accelerated classes which were just my normal ones," she said almost shyly. Olivia nodded her head and they all sat there awkwardly.

"Should we get started here?" Makavoy prodded.

"Olivia, when did you meet Byron Stabler?" Munch asked.

"I guess I always knew him, but…he started dating my mother when I was a junior in high school…they dated a little over a year before…before he died."

"What was your relationship with him?"

Olivia drew a deep breath. Here we go. "He ignored me at first, I guess. I knew he was married and I didn't approve of him being with my mom. And I hated the way he treated her, he beat her many times. But, one night we slept together."

"So you had an intimate relationship with him?" Prosser asked.

"The first time was consensual, yes," Olivia said, biting her lip. "I had an argument with my mother and it was a childish attempt to get back at her. But…Byron took it as a signal that he could have me pretty much when he wanted me."

"Meaning…" Prosser pressed. "If you slept with him the first time by consent, what was different the other times?"

Munch jumped in. "Olivia, did he rape you?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "Numerous times. He also beat me on a number of occasions. If you look at my school files you should see that they kept documentation of the abuse. My principal even talked to my mother about it and threatened to call child services."

"Are you getting this down?" Makavoy asked.

Prosser waved his hand in irritation. "And you think this record will corroborate your story? Let's get to the night of the murder."

There was no way Munch was going to let this DA railroad Olivia. Criminal or not, he knew there were mitigating circumstances. "Tell us a little about your relationship with Elliot Stabler," he interrupted.

"I dated him for six months," she said.

"And were you aware of any abuse allegations?"

Olivia had to be very careful. "They didn't have the closest relationship," she said. "They got into a fight one night, but that was about it. If there was any other abuse, I wasn't aware of it."

"Come on, Olivia," Munch said, pursing his lips. "I've spent almost three days in this town and I've already heard that Stabler liked to beat up on his family. You're saying you didn't know?"

"And this is relevant…why?" Prosser asked in exasperation. The woman had already confessed, his mind was already thinking about the plea agreement.

Munch held up a hand. Olivia responded, "You'll have to ask Elliot," she said evenly.

"Okay, so Byron Stabler was sexually and physically abusing you and your mother. So you decided to kill him to stop the abuse."

Olivia nodded. "Yes, I-"

A sharp rap on the door interrupted her. A young, freckled face deputy popped his head in. "I'm sorry to bother you, but a Detective Stabler is outside and he wants us to let him in to the room."

Olivia breathed a small sigh of relief. She wasn't sure if Elliot knew she had been arrested, and she had been worried about getting the news back to him. Now that he did, it would keep him from calling the hit on John.

Munch stood up and walked out of the room. Elliot was standing in the main squad room, arguing with a clerk.

"Elliot, please calm down," the woman said. She put a restraining hand on his arm.

"Sheila, get me-" he stopped when he saw Munch. He marched up to him until the two were standing just inches apart from each other. Munch recognized this as one of Elliot's favorite intimidation techniques, but he wasn't falling for it. He noticed that he was sweating and breathing heavily.

"Where is Olivia?" he asked with clenched teeth.

"She's in the interrogation room," Munch answered, "she confessed to Byron's murder. We're getting the details down now."

"She confessed?" he asked dubiously.

"Yes," Munch said, narrowing his eyes. "She confessed that she, and only she, killed your father."

Elliot felt the air leaving his lungs. "It's not true…she didn't do it."

"Well then who did? Was it you?" Munch watched Elliot's face as he did an internal battle with himself.

"Let her go Munch," was all he said. "Just send her back home. You don't…have any idea what that man put her through."

"That man?" Munch asked. "You mean your father? I'm having a real hard time believing that she is the only one involved in this. Are you really going to let her take the fall for both of you?"

Elliot set his jaw. "Olivia didn't kill him and neither did I."

Munch gave him a smirk and headed back towards the interrogation. Almost as an afterthought, he turned back to Elliot. "Did you come down here to convince me of Olivia's innocence or did you just want to make sure she hadn't given you up too?"

Leaving Elliot slack-jawed with that parting shot, Munch re-entered the room. Prosser and Loren were conversing quietly in the corner while Makavoy and Olivia spoke quietly amongst themselves. Munch took his seat and the interview reconvened.

"Is...is Elliot alright?" Olivia asked worriedly.

"Yes, he was just telling me how you were both innocent and how we should let you go."

"Yeah…sounds like him," she said wryly.

Munch studied her. "You know, I'm a little confused by this sudden show of allegiance between you two Olivia," he said. "At work, Elliot hated you. Tried to get you transferred. Now, you're willing to spend the rest of your life in jail for him."

"I killed his father," Olivia said evenly. "Wouldn't you hate me too?"

"Yet, now he's trying to get you freed? Why didn't he turn you in when you showed up at the 16th precinct? Why not turn you in 15 years ago?" Munch quickly switched subject matter. "So what was the straw that broke the camel's back? When did you decide to kill Byron?"

Olivia recognized the technique designed to throw her off guard and she had to take a moment to gather her thoughts before answering. "My mother tried to leave him after I told her what he was doing to me. He put a gun to her head and made me give him oral sex in front of her…he had gone too far. He was going to kill us, I had to stop him."

Munch could see her reliving the nightmare. "So what happened that night?" he asked more gently.

Olivia was ready. "I took the gun he kept underneath my mom's bed and a knife my mom bought years ago and put it in a bag. I drove my car out to a spot I had picked out a few days before and hitchhiked my way back to Lewiston. I picked up his blue Chevy truck he used when he was with my mother from our house. I went to a pay phone outside the library, called the station and pretended to be his wife. Once he was on the phone, I told him it was really me and that I needed him to meet me at the old warehouse district because I had accidentally hurt my mom and needed his help. I then drove out there and waited for him to arrive. When he got there, I told him my mom was in the truck. When he opened the door, I whacked him on the head with a tire iron and the blow knocked him out. I pushed his body into the truck and took him to this abandoned shack that I knew of out in the woods."

Olivia took a sip of her water before continuing. "I tied him to a chair and then I beat him with his night stick, sometimes with my own fists, until I was too tired to continue. Then I stabbed him twice in the stomach with the knife. He was suffering and I wanted him dead…for it to just be over, so I shot him in the forehead. I untied him, threw him in the back of the truck and drove him outside of town to a field. I dumped his body, then drove to the other spot where I had left my car. Burned the clothes and the truck and buried the knife and gun. If you go back there, I'm sure the gun and knife are still there."

The shock of the story rendered everyone speechless. Makavoy spoke up first.

"Is there a deal on the table?"

Prosser threw him a bizarre look. "Are you shitting me? She just described the brutal, premeditated murder of a Lewiston police officer. My office won't sign off on any deals. She gets the max."

"She was a juvenile at the time of the murder, so you can't charge her with the death penalty," Makavoy pressed. "If you don't deal, we're going to trial. Once the jury hears about the abuse they'll sympathize with her."

"I'll take life in prison with no possibility of parole and be happy," Prosser answered, gathering his things.

Munch was still staring at Olivia. "Byron Stabler was 6'4, 230 pounds," he said slowly. "You mean to tell me you were able to disable a man of that size all by yourself?"

Prosser paused and looked at Olivia. "If there was someone else involved, give me their name and I'll try and work out a deal for you. But you have to give me a name."

Makavoy leaned over to her. "This would be a good time to speak up Olivia."

Olivia's eyes never left John's. "No," she said firmly. "It was all me."

"You were able to lift his body in and out of the truck, tie him up…"

"You'd be surprised how strong hate can be."

"We're done here," Prosser said standing up. Makavoy gave Olivia a few words of advice and followed him out. Loren, who had been quiet through the whole interview, pulled Olivia up and cuffed her hands behind her back. Munch followed as she led Olivia through the squad room.

"Olivia!"

The trio turned to see Elliot. He ran up to her and grabbed her face.

"Are you all right?" he asked, searching her eyes.

"Never been better," she joked weakly.

"Why…why did you do this?" he asked, anguished.

"Because I had to," she said simply. He watched as they led her towards the lock-up.

XXXXXX 


	22. Chapter 22

**Good Lord, I know I've been gone for a minute, but I just had to take a break from this story. But I'm back, hope you enjoy and sorry for the delay. And how pathetic is this, "Somewhere Only We Know" is one of my all-time FAVORITE songs and I made sure that no matter what I did with this story, one chapter would include it. **

**Lyrics from "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane**

_I walked across an empty land  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
I felt the earth beneath my feet  
Sat by the river and it made me complete  
Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

I came across a fallen tree  
I felt the branches of it looking at me  
Is this the place we used to love?  
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of? 

Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?

Olivia waited anxiously on the bench for Elliot to arrive. She was sitting in the park on a clear Saturday afternoon, one among many townspeople enjoying the warm weather. This day couldn't come quickly enough for Olivia, yet she had been dreading it with all her heart. It was her last day in Lewiston, New York.

She rubbed her sore, cracked eyelids. She had been crying off and on for the last four days over the unfairness of it all. Her mind had been going over and over how she could stay with Elliot, yet still keep their secret safe and intact. No matter how much she turned it over in her mind, examined it at all angles, Dora Stabler's blackmail meant the end of a relationship between Elliot and Olivia.

Olivia looked around at the kids playing in the park, her eyes really not seeing them. Once her mother had accepted the fact that her daughter was a murderer, she went straight into survival mode so fast, it shocked even Olivia. She was now more than willing, desperate even, to get out of Lewiston as fast as humanly possible, fearing her daughter was going to be scooped up by the law at any given moment. They were moving to St. Paul, Minnesota where Serena insisted she had a "friend" that could help them get settled in and find Serena a teaching job. It was also agreed that Olivia would complete correspondence work to earn her high school diploma.

"Hello, beautiful."

Olivia looked up sharply as Elliot approached. The young man looked like the burden of the world had been placed on his shoulders and it took all of Olivia's might not to look away in guilt. _Dora's right. She was killing him slowly._

Elliot plopped down unceremoniously next to his girlfriend, giving her a brave smile. He bent his head to the side of her neck and kissed her gently. She nearly confessed right then as she caught a whiff of his musky cologne. "Sorry I'm late, I had to take Tonya to daycare."

"That's okay, I know you've been really busy with your family," she said softly, still feeling his lips on her skin. "I missed you."

Elliot smiled, taking her hand. "I missed you too, babe."

Let the deception begin. Olivia and Serena thought the best way to get out of town undetected was to tell anyone who cared to ask that they were visiting relatives down in NYC. At first, they would only take what they needed for a few weeks, then send in professional movers to pack up the rest of their belongings and ship them to Minnesota. Only then would Serena contact an out of state realtor to broker the sale of the house.

"…can spend some more time with you."

Olivia realized her mind had been on their plans and had totally missed what Elliot was saying. "I'm sorry…what was that?"

Elliot hadn't noticed her preoccupation. "I said, my aunt is coming back into town tomorrow. She'll be able to help out around the house with Tonya and Jimmy, so I can spend more time with you."

Olivia felt a knot in her stomach starting to form. "That's what I wanted to tell you," she said slowly. "I'm leaving town tonight."

Elliot wrinkled his forehead. "Leaving…where are you going?"

Olivia started in on her rehearsed story. "Mom thought it would be a good idea for the two of us to take a girls vacation," she explained brightly. "We're going down to the city to see some relatives and just get away, see the sights."

Elliot couldn't remember Olivia ever mentioning any relatives anywhere but his mind didn't stray too long on the thought. "When will you be back?"

"Next week," she said automatically. She had spent so much of the past few months telling lies, she was having a hard time distinguishing fact from fiction.

Elliot nodded, somewhat relieved. Olivia bit her lip. She didn't want to leave him. She loved him. It wasn't fair. She felt awful lying to him, to her love.

Olivia noticed Elliot was hesitating. "Is…is there something you want to say?" she asked timidly. Olivia had already decided that if he called her on the charade, she would confess wholeheartedly. At least that was what she told herself.

Elliot smiled mysteriously. "Well…there is something I wanted to talk to you about…but I'm wondering if I should just wait until you get back."

"No!" Olivia shrieked, causing Elliot to jump, startled. "I'm sorry," she said laughing, laying her free hand on his arm. "Tell me now, I can't take the suspense."

Elliot gave her an odd look, but let that pass as well. "Liv…we've been through…so much together…"

"Don't talk about it…"

"I know, I won't," he assured her, quieting her protest. "I know we're both young, we have…our whole lives ahead of us to experience things…to experience love."

Elliot looked at Olivia who was staring at him with a faraway look. He trudged on, feeling his palms starting to sweat. "But, I know…even before…everything, that I only want to experience that with you. Not to sound like a cheeseball but I truly believe, God as my witness, that you are the only one for me."

Olivia was still quiet as Elliot disengaged his hand and shoved it into his pocket. Olivia gasped sharply as he pulled out a small ring. He slipped it on her finger, realizing too late that he hadn't asked permission.

"Elliot…where did you get this?" She was staring at a small diamond, encircled with gold leaves.

"It was my grandmother's," Elliot admitted. "She gave it to my mom before she died, but she never wore it because of course my dad bought her a ring…do you like it?"

"It's beautiful…" she breathed, staring at her hand. "I…I shouldn't take this."

"You should if you'll agree to be my wife."

Olivia looked up sharply, speechless. She could not believe the undeniably cruel joke the cosmos were playing on her and Elliot.

Elliot rushed on. "Let's just…let's just, oh I don't know. I've never been this connected to anyone in my life and I know I'll never love anyone as much as I love you. Let's do it Olivia. We'll finish up high school and just go wherever we want to. Do whatever we want to. Be whatever we want to. But we can do it together."

Olivia let out a choked sob. Elliot watched alarmed as Olivia bent her head and started crying with such force he almost thought she was in physical pain. He pulled her shaking body to him and held her tight, not quite sure what to say or do.

"I…I…" Olivia stammered as the thoughts in her mind swirled furiously. She wanted to marry him more than anything, but she knew that she couldn't. It would mean both of them going to prison. She just didn't know what she should say. He just had to make this harder for her, didn't he?

"Olivia?"

"Yes."

He wasn't sure if he heard her correctly. "Yes?" he asked hopefully. "Yes…what?"

Olivia nodded her head, angrily wiping her face. "Yes, I will marry you."

For the first time in almost two months, Elliot's face lit up. He squeezed Olivia tighter.

She could feel her heart breaking and she swore he could hear every rip and tear. It hit her then that this is what she had always wanted – to be Elliot Stabler's wife. She just hoped that one day he would understand what she had to do to protect them

They sat in silence until Olivia realized she had to go. Pulling away from him, she took one long last look at his face, every feature, every line. She pulled him to her and kissed him passionately for the very last time.

"I'll see you when you get back," he said breathlessly, when they finally pulled apart. "I love you."

Olivia stood up to go. "Yes, I'll see you soon. I love you so much too, Elliot."

She turned around and walked away, without ever looking back.

XXXXX


	23. Chapter 23

**Shit, what can you do? When life gets busy and you don't even have to time to sleep, your story suffers! Oh, well I am back and ready to finish this up with another chapter or two. I apologize to everyone for the lack of updates. Enjoy. **

**Lyrics from "Why Do I Feel So Sad?" by Alicia Keys**

_Friends we've been for so long  
Now true colors are showing  
Makes me wanna cry oh yes it does  
Cuz I had to say goodbye_

By now I should know  
That in time things must change  
So it shouldn't be so bad  
So why do I feel so sad

How can I adjust  
To the way that things are going  
It's killing me slowly  
Oh I just want it to be how it used to be

Cuz I wish that I could stay  
But in time things must change  
So it shouldn't be so bad  
_So why do I feel so sad_

You cannot hide the way you feel inside I realize  
Your actions speak much louder than words  
So tell me why oh

By now I should know that  
That in time things must change  
_So it shouldn't be it shouldn't be so bad  
So why do I feel so sad_

By now I should know  
That in time things must change  
So it shouldn't be so bad  
So why do I feel so sad

By now by now I should know  
That in time things must grow  
And I had to leave you behind  
So why do I feel so sad  
If it couldn't be that bad  
Tell me why

By now I should know  
That in time things must change  
So it couldn't be so bad  
So why do I feel so sad?

_Swish. _The ball sailed through the hoop and bounced automatically back to where Elliot was standing at the free throw line. He was on the basketball court at Astoria Park, near his family's home. He found himself coming to the park frequently on his free time, anything to guarantee him a few moments of solitude and escape from the dismal mess that had become his life. Munch had made it no secret, and told anyone who would listen, that Elliot Stabler had gotten away with murder.

Coming clean to Kathy ranked as one of the most difficult things he had ever had to do. Trying to explain to her about his past, while tediously omitting his involvement in his father's death, had proved overwhelming for Elliot and traumatic for his wife. She knew there were inconsistencies in Elliot's story and she truly couldn't understand why he hadn't turned Olivia in when she showed up as his partner, but she accepted him and his past because that was her duty as a wife to do so. And deep down inside, she truly did not want to admit her husband was capable of being involved in a murder. Not that their children had it any easier, as they had to ward off teasing and bullying from classmates about their father who "might be a murderer."

Shortly after Olivia's trial started, he had been reassigned to Queens Homicide Unit. The tension between the other detectives at SVU, particularly between he and Munch, was having a negative effect on the work environment. Cragen had summoned Elliot into his office one afternoon.

"Elliot," Cragen began, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'll get right to the point. I've noticed a rift between you and your co-workers over Olivia's…situation. To put it mildly, you aren't the most popular guy around here."

Elliot shrugged. "Nothing I can't handle," he said monotonously.

"I understand, but you know as well as I do that this is a difficult time for everyone… how would you feel about transferring to another house?"

Elliot silently stared at his captain. "When would I leave?" he asked finally.

"End of the week, after you get your cases reassigned," Cragen answered.

Elliot shook his head ruefully. "You aren't really asking me, are you?"

Cragen sighed, his admission of truth. "It would be best for the morale of this house if you no longer worked here, Elliot."

And then there was Olivia. She and her attorney had decided to take their chances at trial, citing Battered Woman's Syndrome as her defense. In retaliation, the DA was charging her with First Degree Murder. The case, which was being tried in Buffalo, had made headlines all over the state.

He thought about her every minute of the day. Her life was on the line, yet she had kept her silence about Elliot's involvement. The evidence was there if the DA chose to look for it, but apparently he was satisfied with having Olivia's head only.

Grabbing the basketball deftly, he raised for another shot, this one bouncing off the rim and flying to the left.

"That's the first one you've missed in the last ten minutes."

Elliot looked up sharply and almost lost his footing. Holding the ball was Serena Benson. She had aged considerably, but Elliot still recognized the woman, who had been a knockout in her day. Elliot felt a mix of emotions as he stared at the woman who had helped to cause so much turmoil for two families.

Serena smiled at Elliot's stunned expression. "To think, all these years and you and I have never had a conversation."

Elliot's mind flashed back to the day when he had returned Olivia's car to her after much needed repairs, but he spoke nothing of it. "Hello Ms. Benson," he said cautiously. "What can I do for you?" He thought the question sounded absurd in light of current circumstances, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Serena gripped the ball tightly and walked closer to Elliot. She reached out and handed him the ball. "I wanted to see how you were spending your days while Olivia is sitting in a jail cell for a crime you both committed."

The simple statement knocked the wind out of Elliot's lungs. "I … I don't know…"

Serena smiled sadly. "Don't try to insult my intelligence,' she said gently, "I know what happened that night. Olivia and I may have had the rockiest of relationships, but we are still close. She is my best friend."

"What do you want from me, Ms. Benson?" he asked hoarsely.

"I realize Olivia's…commitment to you," she said, staring over Elliot's shoulder, her eyes welling up. "But I don't want my baby to die…"

"I … don't know what I can do…" Elliot said helplessly, "Regardless…she will be in the same situation she is now…I don't want her to die either, I love her."

Their eyes connected over Elliot's excited utterance. Serena slowly nodded her head. "I guess…I wanted you to testify on her behalf."

Elliot's eyes widened. "You want me to what!"

Serena went on in a rush. "I am slated to testify too, to describe the abuse Byron inflicted on me and most importantly on Olivia. Her…her defense attorney asked me to speak with you…if you could just tell them how it was-"

"No."

Serena sputtered to a stop, her eyes threatening to spill over. "I need your help."

"I can't, there is no more Olivia where I am concerned," he stressed. "My whole life has changed since she dropped back into my life a year ago. I have to pick up the pieces and keep on for my family's sake. I said goodbye to Olivia the day she turned herself in."

"And that's it?" she said dully. "None of this is your responsibility or your problem? You just said you loved her."

Her tone set off Elliot's temper. "_You_ are going to tell _me_ about responsibility and blame? None of this would have happened if you didn't start sleeping with a married man," Elliot said harshly and rather irrationally. "We've all made mistakes Ms. Benson. But you made the worse one of all of us."

Serena wrinkled her brow. "I see," she said simply. She drew herself up to her full height and turned to leave. Suddenly she whirled around. "Elliot, tell me. How much better was your family's life after Byron died?"

She didn't wait for a response, as she already knew the answer. "And to think, this is the man she is willing to give her life to protect. When you think you know a person."

Not waiting for an answer or comment, she turned and left the court. And Elliot had never felt more sad or more alone.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey peeps! Thanks for sticking with this story and for giving me all the wonderful reviews and what-not. A quick disclaimer, I do not have a law degree, so please bear with me on the legalese. It's just stuff I picked up watching the Law & Orders, lol. Enjoy. **

"Testify" by Common 

_She walk into the court her knees buckle  
Saying for a man to survive he needn't hustle  
Seen and been through struggle her whole life  
Made a transition from being his ho to his wife  
Stifling, the night upend the ATF bust in  
Her daddy was a hustla so she love them  
Looked at the jury how can they judge him, she screamed_

_Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Please let me testify_

_  
Fear in her chest her face in tears, had her mans back he was facing years  
In her name though the place was his  
They trying to take everything except the kids  
But years she been through stumbling fights  
While he trying to hustle that white  
Up all night wondering if he's alive  
Seeing him tried she bubbled inside and screamed_

_Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Please let me testify_

_  
The judge called for order the court reporter makin her words shorter  
His lawyer sat next to him, she could see how the trial was affecting him  
It hurt for her eyes to connect with him, using her lies for protecting him  
They arrested him for murder, and gun possession  
As they read back her confession she screamed_

_Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Please let me testify_

_  
The court awaited as the foreman got the verdict from the bailiff  
Emotional outbursts tears and smeared makeup  
He stated, he was guilty on all charges  
She's shaking like she took it the hardest  
A spin artist, she brought her face up laughing  
That's when the prosecutor realized what happened  
All that speaking her mind testifying and crying  
When this bitch did the crime- the queenpen..._

_Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Before you lock my love away, before you lock my love away  
Please let me testify_

_You accuse me of a, you accuse me of a, you accuse  
Please let me testify, please let me testify  
You accuse me of a, you accuse me of a, you accuse  
Please let me testify, please let me testify_

Simone Bryce looked up from her documents as her client shuffled into the room. Head down, Olivia plopped into the opposite chair, her shockingly thin frame barely making a noise.

"Olivia, are you alright?" Simone asked gently.

Olivia slowly raised her head. Blinking twice, she focused on Simone. "Hey…yeah. What's on the agenda today?"

Simone wrinkled her brow. She had known Olivia for years, since she was a teenager, so it was natural that she would represent her. But acting as a first hand witness to Olivia's deterioration was sometimes too much for the older woman to bear. First, there was the drastic loss in weight and the decrease in light and humor that was so common to Olivia's personality. Then there were times like these when she wasn't sure if Olivia was 100 percent present and committed to her defense. Simone had rested the defense's case and she was confident that they had consistently given the jury points to consider, but it wasn't over yet, not by a long shot.

Simone gave her a lopsided smile. "Olivia, have you spoken to the prison psychiatrist?"

Olivia picked at her gray prison-issue garb. "Sure," she said simply. What good would that have done, she thought. Then she would have to share her feelings to some random individual, and finally be forced to admit that Elliot was right, they should have just killed Munch.

Prison life was nothing short of horrific. Olivia's case, and who she once was, had made its way behind prison walls and Olivia had found herself victim to several attacks on her life. Finally, the judge issued a protective custody order for her, which required 23 hours a day in almost total isolation.

She started to go mad after the third day.

Too much time on her hands allowed her too much time for thinking and reflection. What went wrong, what could she have done differently, should she have listened to Elliot, should she have gone into a different field, could she possibly survive prison for the rest of her life?

Simone quietly sighed, searching Olivia's face. She decided to let it rest for now. Pulling a few documents from her attaché, she scanned her notes. She had more pressing matters at hand. "Well, I do have some rather perplexing news for you…."

"Hmm?" Olivia answered, noncommittally. Simone handed her a sheet of paper. Olivia quickly recognized it as the prosecution's witness list. Olivia looked up blankly.

"Okay, what?"

Simone reached over and pointed to the bottom of the sheet. "Notice anything different?"

Olivia's eyes followed Simone's finger until it read the last name on the sheet. Olivia's eyes flew open and she gasped, sitting up straight. Simone couldn't help thinking this was the most reaction Olivia had shown in the last few months.

Olivia shook her head violently. "No….no!"

"Olivia," Simone said firmly, "why would the prosecution call Elliot as a rebuttal witness? Why would he testify against you? We did a good job with the jury, as it stands. But not with this. This could be very damaging to our case."

"Did…did they subpoena him?" Olivia asked, mortified. She was still having a hard time believing that he would voluntarily take the stand. Against her.

"No...a little birdie told me he contacted Prosser on his own volition in exchange for total immunity. I have no clue what the hell happened, Olivia. Your mother talked to him-"

Olivia's mind had shuddered to a stop. "My…mother talked to him!"

"She tried to convince him to testify on your behalf."

Olivia could feel the bile rise in her throat. He was out to literally destroy her. Checkmate, Stabler.

Simone sat back. "Olivia, it is time you started thinking about yourself. You are losing your mind in that jail cell. I need to know everything about Elliot's involvement on the night of the murder. When I cross examine him, I will tear him apart."

"But … he has immunity."

Simone nodded her head. "Yes, but if we introduce him as a co-conspirator, and he lied to the DA to get his deal, they may not honor it. You have to trust me Olivia. We'll go over Elliot in the morning.

Olivia sat there and stared at Simone, her face unreadable. Simone packed up her stuff and stood.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep."

XXXXXXXXXX

The courtroom was packed, which wasn't unusual, as the media and public had taken a shine to this particular case. Olivia could not sit still, nervously glancing over her shoulder and smoothing down her hair. She was a complete wreck, agonizing over the fact that Elliot was coming and he was going to see her as a criminal defendant. She smoothed down her black, pencil line skirt. She hated suits, she thought randomly. Did Elliot like women in suits? Why the hell did she care anyway? He was trying to kill her.

"All rise."

Olivia snapped to attention and bolted to her feet, as the judge approached the bench. Once they were all seated, the judge called for Prosser.

"Your honor, I would like to call a rebuttal witness to the stand."

Simone jumped to her feet. "Your Honor, I again object to this last minute posturing by the prosecution. He had ample time to introduce any new witnesses."

"This witness was just recently made available to the prosecution, your honor," Prosser objected.

Judge Mojito waved his hand dismissively. "Sit down counselors, the defense objection is again overruled."

"The prosecution would like to call Elliot Stabler to the stand," Prosser said relieved, throwing Simone a look of triumph.

Olivia heard the courtroom door open, but kept her eyes on the table. While Simone argued with the prosecutor, Olivia had decided that she would not look at Elliot, not even once.

Fat chance. It was as if she could feel rather than hear his presence as he passed the defense table. Looking rather dapper in a dark gray suit, Elliot stood across from the bailiff and placed his hand on the bible.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do," Elliot answered. His legs were like jelly, but little did he know he looked the picture of calm and confidence. He took his seat behind the witness stand and clasped his hands together to keep them from visibly shaking. His purposely avoided Olivia.

Prosser approached Elliot and led him through some simple questions, establishing his relationship with Olivia for the jury's sake, before getting to the meat of the testimony.

"Elliot, tell us a bit about your father, Byron Stabler," he said easily settling in front of the witness stand.

"I hated him," Elliot blurted out, much to his dismay. He felt panicky, but he steeled himself and went on. "I'm sorry…I know that is not what is expected of a son about his father. But he caused so much hurt for me and my family."

"And lets talk about that hurt he caused," Prosser said conversationally. "It is a known fact that the victim and the defendant's mother were having an affair for more than a year, correct?"

"Correct."

"And is it not also a fact that the defendant was sleeping with the victim as well, correct?"

It was then that Elliot finally looked at Olivia. What he saw shocked him and he was transported back to that evening so many years ago in the diner, when Olivia had first confessed her story and her plans to kill Byron. Her frame was lost in her black suit, and her face was drawn and lined. His heart lurched at the thought of what her prison life was like, an ex-cop and cop killer. She had to be getting abuse from both sides.

But he was here to change all of that.

"Incorrect," he said strongly.

Prosser stilled. "Detective Stabler, was Ms. Benson sleeping with your father?"

"No, he raped her on numerous occasions."

Prosser hesitated for a split second. "Yes, legally it was deemed rape because of the age of the victim at the time, but was it not in fact consensual?"

"No, there was no consent of any, he forced himself on her and raped her," Elliot said glibly.

Prosser stared at Elliot. "Did the defendant plot and kill your father, Detective Stabler?"

"No, she didn't."

"He's changing his story." Prosser snapped, as the courtroom murmured in surprise.

"I did." Elliot said quietly.

"Your honor!" Prosser screamed.

The courtroom erupted as Prosser spun around and gaped at Elliot. Olivia was staring at Elliot with such intensity that he could feel her eyes boring through him. He took a silent breath and focused on the prosecutor.

"Order, in the court!" the judge roared.

Elliot used the disruption to his advantage. "I stole the gun my father kept underneath Serena Benson's bed and a knife her mother had bought years ago and put it in a bag. I knew about these items from visiting Olivia at her house. I drove my car out to a spot I had picked out a few days before and hitchhiked my way back to Lewiston. I picked up his blue Chevy truck he used when he was with Serena from our house. I went to a pay phone outside the library, called the station and pretended to be my mother. I threw my voice and the officer on the other line bought it. Once he was on the phone, I told him it was really me and that I needed him to meet me at the old warehouse district because I had accidentally hurt Serena and needed his help. I then drove out there and waited for him to arrive. When he got there, I told him Serena was in the truck. When he opened the door, I whacked him on the head with a tire iron and the blow knocked him out. I pushed his body into the truck and took him to this abandoned shack that was out in the woods."

Elliot paused and looked at Olivia. Tears were streaming down her face and Simone was holding her hand tightly. "I tied him to a chair and then I beat him up pretty badly. Then I stabbed him twice in the stomach with the knife. Then I shot him in the forehead. I untied him, threw him in the back of the truck and drove him outside of town to a field. I dumped his body, then drove to the other spot where I had left my car. I then burned the clothes and the truck and buried the knife and gun…both items you already have as evidence."

"Your honor…this is outrageous. We signed a deal with this defendant…" Prosser cursed.

"Counselors in my chambers, the witness is excused until further notice," Mojito turned to Elliot. "Detective, it would be wise for you to stay in the area."

Elliot nodded and left the stand. The courtroom was still buzzing as he passed the defense table. The look in her eyes said it all.

He pushed out of the courtroom and walked into the sunlight.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello everyone. I have finally gotten back the inspiration to end this story! Thanks for everyone who sent messages lighting a fire under my ass. I think I am going to try my hand at Without a Trace fan fiction, so for those of you who are fans of that show, look for some upcoming stories from me. **

**You're Beautiful by **

**James Blunt**

_My life is brilliant._

_My love is pure._

_I saw an angel._

_Of that I'm sure._

_She smiled at me on the subway._

_She was with another man._

_But I won't lose no sleep on that,_

_'Cause I've got a plan._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful._

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_I saw your face in a crowded place,_

_And I don't know what to do,_

_'Cause I'll never be with you._

_Yeah, she caught my eye,_

_As we walked on by._

_She could see from my face that I was,_

_Fucking high,_

_And I don't think that I'll see her again,_

_But we shared a moment that will last till the end._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful._

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_I saw your face in a crowded place,_

_And I don't know what to do,_

_'Cause I'll never be with you._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful._

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_There must be an angel with a smile on her face,_

_When she thought up that I should be with you._

_But it's time to face the truth,_

_I will never be with you._

EPILOGUE 

She never knew a day like this.

Olivia walked slowly across the grounds, her eyes sweeping the sky above. Each step brought an exuberant feel to her bones, almost as if she had awakened from a long period of hibernation. Or death.

Today marked liberation day for Olivia, as she was finally released from hell. The jury found her not guilty in the death of Byron Stabler, hence vacating the Murder One charges against her. When the verdict was read, Olivia stood in shock as her mother and Simone enveloped her into a strong embrace peppered with their cries of delight and relief.

As she took each step closer to the main gate where her mother would be waiting for her, Olivia couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that hampered her inner celebration. She had gotten away with murder and there was no escaping that. Even armed with that knowledge, Olivia knew she would not have survived much longer in prison. Thoughts of suicide had permeated her thoughts during those dark months, and she knew if she were found guilty that she would have certainly gone through with it.

Passing through the main guard gate, Olivia smiled her first real smile in more than a year. She eagerly searched the area for signs of her mother but instead stopped cold. Her mother was nowhere in sight.

In her place was Elliot Stabler.

Leaning against a rental car, Elliot's first sight of Olivia brought an immense feeling of love and joy to his heart. She was impossibly thin and the lines were etched clearly in her face, but it was Olivia. His Olivia.

Olivia approached him slowly until she was standing directly in front of him, not yet trusting herself to speak.

"Hello, Olivia," he said softly.

"I…wh…where is my mother?" she croaked.

Elliot smiled. "I bribed her into letting me do the honors."

Olivia crossed her arms in front of her, hugging herself tightly. She knew she owed her life to Elliot. After manipulating the DA's office into giving him immunity, he confessed to the murder on the stand, thus guaranteeing reasonable doubt in Olivia's defense. It was brilliant and risky at the same time. And it worked.

"Thank you, Elliot," she said simply.

He searched her eyes. There was so much he needed to say to her, so much that he needed to know. "I tried my best to look the other way, to just forget about you," he said ruefully. "But your mother…she asked me how much better my family's life was after Byron was gone and I just knew…she was right. I owed it to you Olivia. I owed my family's life to you."

She nodded, when a thought popped up. "Why wasn't your mother at the trial Elliot?"

"When my family moved out of Lewiston, she closed that chapter of her life," he answered readily. "She remarried and moved to Chicago where she and Tonya still reside. Who killed her husband so many years ago is of no interest to her and never really has been."

Olivia knew that for a fact, remembering the weeks following Byron's murder. She asked another question. "Why are you here Elliot?"

"Why did you agree to marry me and then abandoned me?" he shot back, not missing a beat.

Olivia searched his eyes, pondering how much she should reveal. Quickly she decided to just tell him the truth. So much of her life had been lost in lies, it was time to forge a pathway of honesty.

"Your mother was there with us that night at your house and she heard everything," she revealed. Ignoring the look of shock on Elliot's face she trudged on. "She heard everything Elliot, everything that we were going to do. She heard us finalizing our plans and came to see me about a month afterward -"

"That's impossible," Elliot interrupted harshly. "Impossible. She would have stopped us, said something, called the police…" His voice died away as Olivia firmly shook her head.

"She was the third accomplice," she said softly. "She willing stood by and let us murder her husband when she had ample opportunity to stop it. The thought had escaped me at the time, but your mother made the conscious decision to kill a man just as we had."

"She came to my house and asked mom and I to leave town, to help her family save face and to help her cope with Byron and my mom's indiscretions and to…to help you heal," she continued. "She gave us $15,000 to ship out by the end of the week. If we disagreed, she threatened to turn you and I both in to the authorities."

Speechless, Elliot stared dumbly at Olivia. His mother…all these years knowing he was a monster? Helping to turn away the only woman he ever loved? No wonder she closed that chapter of her life so easily because she was just as guilty. The hurt and betrayal were overwhelming.

"Elliot, I didn't know what else to do," Olivia said breathlessly, grabbing both of his arms tightly. "I couldn't let us go to prison! I couldn't, not when all of this was my fault. I should have never gotten you involved. And she was right…the guilt was killing you slowly and I was a constant reminder of what you did!"

"I asked you to marry me," he whispered, tears spilling from his eyes. "You said yes…why did you say yes?"

"Because I wanted to, more than anything I wanted to," she said, her own eyes brimming with moisture. "I thought…she may take you away from me, she may force me from the town, but she could never, ever take that away from me. I am sorry Elliot, so sorry for hurting you. But I had to hurt you to save you and I hope that you can see that and be able to finally forgive me."

Elliot nodded slowly, finally understanding. The now 17-year-old mystery was finally solved. "Now what?" he whispered. "What does this mean for us?"

"Nothing."

Elliot shook his head desperately. "I can leave my wife and we can go away, just like we said we would do-"

"No," she said firmly.

"I am in love with you, I have always been in love with you."

"It's over," she said with finality. "I know now that it was never meant for us and it never will be. I will always love you and hold a special place in my heart for the man that saved my life. But memories are all that we will ever have. Go back to the family who needs you and loves you."

"Olivia…" he said painfully, cupping her face. She pushed away gently, smiling up at her angel. A sound in front of her caught her attention as she saw the bus that transported newly released prisoners to the city center. She stepped on her toes and gave Elliot one last passionate kiss.

"I love you, be good to yourself. You deserve it. Goodbye, my sweet Elliot." She skipped quickly to the bus and hopped on. She gave one final beautiful smile before disappearing behind the doors. Elliot watched silently as the bus drove away and out of sight.

"Goodbye my sweet Olivia."

The End XXXXXXX 


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